Always Adam

Chapter 21

I stand at my locker watching Nat and Marcus. They are standing really close to one another whispering to each other. My couple radar goes off. I watch as they flirt with each other and discreetly touch each other. I'm completely unaware that Ava has come up beside me. I'm completely entranced with Nat and Marcus. Electricity is sparking off the two of them. I wonder if anyone else can see it. "They are so going to be doing it soon," she says. I jump and she laughs. "You aren't kidding," I say not able to look away. It's like a car crash. You know you shouldn't look, but you can't help yourself.

"Do you really think they are going to," I ask. "I mean isn't he like her brother in a way." I can't decide if it's incestuous or not. They aren't blood related. They didn't know each other until a couple weeks ago. I mean if he didn't live with her it would be fine. "It didn't stop her and Greg," Ava says. "Is that story really true," I ask as my eyes widen. I sort of thought it was a joke. "She lost her virginity to him," Ava says then adds "She was only fourteen." I choke on spit when she tells me that. "And here I am eighteen and still clinging to it. I feel a bit prudish." Ava elbows me. "I think it's cool. Besides, what better gift to give Adam. Or I mean whomever it is you decide to date at some point," She says grinning at me. I punch her in the arm playfully.

It doesn't take long for all of us to realize Nat and Marcus are a couple. No one in school really knows Marcus lives with Nat. They keep it hidden at home. The more I'm around them the more I understand. They are two halves of a whole. They are so right together. I wonder how it is some people just mesh together, while others struggle to form something. Adam and I are on one speed. Slow. Just when I feel like I'm making progress with him, he pulls back. When I finally start to lose interest, well as much as I can lose when it comes to Adam, he show's me more interest. Ava tells me it's because of Nikki. He's very conflicted about moving on.

It's the last day of school before Christmas break. When I arrive at my locker, I find an envelope taped to it. I look around hoping I'm not about to be punk'd. I don't see anyone so I carefully pull the envelope off my locker. I stick it in my bag and hurry to get the books I need for my first two classes. Once I finish, I make my way to the bathroom. I get giddy thinking maybe it's from Adam since he wasn't waiting for me. My hands actually shake as I open the envelope. I'm instantly disappointed. It's a note from Carlos. He's asking me to go to the Christmas dance with him tonight. Nothing like last minute I think to myself.

I think about Carlos in the bathroom. We get along well in class. He's funny and smart. I like him, but I like Adam more. I wish Adam would give me some type of idea where we are going. If there even is a we. When I exit the bathroom, I'm stunned to see Carlos standing there waiting for me. He must have been watching me. "Hey Carly," he says. A shy smile on his face. I can't help but smile back. He is cute. Not heart stopping Adam cute, but cute. "Hi Carlos," I say back at him. "Well," he asks seeing the note in my hand. I glance nervously around. I don't want to shut him down with an audience. Fortunately, there isn't anyone around that is paying us any attention.

"Um. I'm already going with Ava, Nat, Marcus, Adam and all of them. We decided to go as a group," I tell him. "Oh," he says obviously disappointed. "I guess I should have got the balls to ask you sooner. Maybe you can save me a dance," he says hopeful. I smile at him and say "Sure." I watch as he walks away. I sigh. I want to beat my head against a wall. Why do I pick the most unavailable guys to crush on. Carlos is hot and if not for Adam, I would have jumped at the chance to date him. Why is my romantic life so frustrating.

I glance in the mirror at the tight red and black sweater dress I'm wearing and smile. I know I look hot in this dress. If Adam doesn't make a move tonight, then I guess I should start seeing Carlos. I mean I can't continue to not date at all during my high school years. I don't want to look back and regret the boys not chosen. I slip into the peep toe heels I got to wear with the dress and check my makeup. My eyes are done in a smokey grey eye shadow. I lightly coated silver glitter over the grey. The rest of my makeup is subtle. My eyes pop. Just the effect I wanted. I layered a thick coat of mascara on them so they long and thick.