Always Adam

Chapter 30

I'm shocked to find Adam at school on Thursday. I hadn't heard from him and when he didn't come by to pick me up, I figured he wasn't going to be at school again. Instead I find Adam's car in the school parking lot. I'm not only confused, but pissed. He's not waiting at my locker. I can't seem to find Ava or Nat. I'm seeing red when I spot Adam talking to Donnie. When Donnie sees me he says something to Adam. Adam turns to me and my stomach drops. He doesn't look happy to see me. Donnie hurries past me with a fast hello. Adam waits for me to reach him.

"Hey," I say. I'm terrified. I am so worried he's going to break up with me. "Hey," he says back to me. I take a deep breath. "So what's going on," I ask. He runs his hand through his hair. He's nervous. He's going to dump me here at school. Panic sets in. "I'm just in a bad place right now," he says. You and me both I think to myself. Instead of speaking I wait. "I'm not breaking up with you Carly. I just need a little time," he says. I turn to leave. He grabs my arm to stop me. "Please don't walk away. I told you I'm not breaking up with you. I just need to sort through some shit in my head." I really don't want to cry in front of him. "Fine," I manage to say. "I need to go," I tell him as I jerk my arm away from him. "I love you Carly," he says as I hurry away from him.

I don't want anyone to see me cry. I hurry down the hall looking for a place to hide. I'm so upset I don't see Carlos. He blocks my path to stop me. "What's wrong Carly," he asks. I look up and he can see the tears in my eyes. He pulls me into the corner near an empty classroom. He wraps me in his arms as I cry. He turns to block any view people might have of me. He holds me while I cry my eyes out. The bell rings and he continues to hold me. When I finally stop crying he simply says "Do you want to get out of here." I shake my head yes. He takes my hand and we leave.

"Give me your keys," he says softly when we reach my car. "Where do you want to go," he asks me. "Do you want to go home." I tell him no. Carlos drives to the mall movie theater. He gets out and comes around to open my door. He takes my hand and leads me inside. He scans the movie list to find one that will be starting soon. He purchases two tickets and we make our way inside. He chooses seats in the very back. I have no idea what movie we are even seeing. I relax back into my seat and close my eyes. Ten minutes later the movie starts. Carlos picked a comedy. Despite my bad mood I find myself laughing.

After the movie we make our way to the food court. "I'm starving," Carlos says as we walk. I'm sort of hungry myself despite being upset. "What do you want," he asks when we reach the circle of fast food restaurants. "You pick," I tell him. "How about steak sandwiches," he suggests. I nod yes. We sit eating our sandwiches not saying anything. Carlos finishes his two sandwiches before I get half of mine down. We walk the mall in silence. I told Carlos I didn't want to go back to school until everyone was long gone.

He turns to me as we drive back to the school. "I know it's not my business, but what happened. Did he break up with you," Carlos ask concerned. I think about the question for some time before I answer. "No. He said he just needed some time." Carlos reaches over and takes my hand. "I'm sure it will all work out Carly. I'm sure the anniversary of Nikki's disappearance is hard on him." I look over at him. "I'm sure it is. I just wish he would let me help him instead of shutting me out." "It's what he does Carly. He stopped hanging out with all of us after she disappeared. He was so paranoid one of us did something to her. We all loved Nikki. Adam to. I can honestly tell you that not one of us would have hurt her."

I believe him. I don't know all the boys that well, but not one of them strike me as the type to hurt someone. Carlos has been nothing but sweet to me. "We were all affected by her disappearance." We are both silent. "Did you go Saturday," I ask him. He lets go of my hand. "No. We all thought it was best if we stayed away. We didn't want to upset Adam." Adam has good friends. Even if he didn't realize it. We reach Carlos' car and he hurries around to open my door. "You're such a great person," I tell him with a smile. "My mom would kick my ass if I wasn't," he tells me. He waits for me to get back in the car and drive away before he leaves in his car.

Friday morning there is still no Adam waiting to drive me to school. I drive myself and find no one at my locker. I put my things away and dig out the books I need for my first couple classes. I shut my locker and turn to find Carlos standing there. "Good morning Carly," he says cheerfully. I smile at him. "I will be playing the part of Adam today," he tells me as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. I look up at him and say "Just keep your lips to yourself." He laughs. Carlos walks me to most of my classes. I see Adam from a distance in the halls a couple times. He's a no show at lunch.

Ava corners me in the bathroom after lunch. "What the hell is going on with you and Carlos," she demands. "He's just being a good friend Ava. There isn't anything going on." She looks at me to see if I am telling her the truth. "Adam asked for some time. He's the one shutting me out Ava. I want to be there for him. He doesn't want me around right now. I don't know what you want me to say." She sighs. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to give up on Adam. You two are so good together. I know he loved Nikki. I know he feels guilty about her. I can honestly tell you Carly that even if Nikki had not disappeared, they would not be together. I never told Adam this and you need to promise not to tell him. Nikki was thinking about breaking up with him before she disappeared. She still loved him, but thought they should see other people before they graduated."

I stare at Ava with my mouth hanging open. "I thought they were so in love. I mean I figured they would have gotten married after graduation. You know soul mates. The love of a lifetime. You really think she was going to break up with him." Ava shakes her head yes. "Nikki was my best friend. Even though Adam is my brother, she still confided in me. I think she was curious. I don't think Nikki would have married Adam without getting out a little if you know what I mean." I did know what she meant. She meant Nikki wanted to try out some other guys. I guess I could understand that. They were so young when they got together.

"I'm not giving up on Adam. I love him Ava. I don't feel like I need to get out a little. I like what I have. I can't just mope around until he figures things out. It's not good for me. I need to take my mind off of him. Carlos is just a distraction and nothing more. He hasn't tried to put any moves on me. He's just been a good friend." We walk out of the bathroom and head off in different directions for class. Later she texts me about a party tomorrow night. I have nothing better to do so I text her back that I will see her there.

At the end of the day as Carlos walks me to my car, he asks me about the party. "Ava text me about it earlier. I think I will go. I don't want to sit around my apartment moping." He opens my door for me and watches me get in. "I was planning on going. I could pick you up. I mean it wouldn't be a date or anything. I know you're with Adam. I guess what I am trying to say is I want to keep an eye on you. I wasn't able to stop whatever happened to Nikki. I want to keep you safe. For Adam. And you of course." It was funny listening to the always cool Carlos searching for the right words. "Sure Carlos. I'll text you my address later."