Always Adam

Chapter 49

It's a rather warm October day. I'm lying on my bed when I hear Ava and Nat come home. I'm about to walk out to see if they want to walk down and get ice cream when I hear my name. I stop and stand inside the door of my room to listen. "I don't know Ava. The whole Adam and Carly thing has been like a dark cloud over us for the last year and how many months. I think you should leave things alone. They both need to move on," Nat says dropping her stuff on the hall cabinet. "You really don't think I should tell her Adam's dating. I mean what if." Nat interrupts her. "Ava, stop. I know you want them back together. We all wanted them back together. I just don't think it's going to happen. What do you think is going to happen if you tell Carly Adam is dating someone?"

My heart drops. Adam's dating someone. I mean I figured he might be dating since we were broken up just as I was. It's just hearing it is so crushing to me. I don't hear what Ava says. My head is spinning. "He wants us to meet her this Saturday at Rush. He thought it would be good place for us to meet to see if we like her." I hear them move towards the kitchen. The refrigerator opens. I hear someone open what I assume is a bottled water. "I'm not going," Nat says. "I love both Adam and Carly, but my loyalty lies with Carly. She's like a sister to me Ava." There's silence. "I'm not sure I want to go either, but he's my brother Nat. I want him to be happy. I want both him and Carly to be happy. If it can't be with each other, then I guess we have to get use to them being with other people."

They both go upstairs. I silently close my door and fall into my bed. My mind is spinning. I feel like someone is smashing my heart. I can't breathe. I try taking deep breathes and counting. It takes me several minutes to get my breathing back to normal. I grab my purse and slip out without either knowing I was there. I walk the streets in a daze. My mind is going through the entire last year of my life. Our love. Our breakup. My dates. Carlos. Justin. It all comes back to Adam. I stop walking and look around. I have no idea where I'm at. I pull out my phone and use the GPS to get me back to the house.

Once there, I sit on the porch for hours. My thoughts keep replaying over and over in my head. Adam. I still love Adam. He's still the one. He always has been. It's always been Adam. I cry. I cry for what we had and what we lost. I finally make my way inside and back to my room. I crawl on my bed and sleep. I avoid everyone for the next two days. I can't face anyone right now. My heart is broken, and if anyone sees me, they will know. When Saturday rolls around, I go to rush. I need to see her. I need to see them together. I tell myself it's the closure I need to move on. Seeing Adam with someone else will finalize it.

I'm wearing skinny jeans with sandals. A simple pink t-shirt. No makeup. I want to blend in and not stand out. I don't want to be hit on or singled out. I just want to watch. I want to see him with her. Once I see them together, I will leave. My name is on the list. I don't want Greg to see me, so I make my way to the far wall when I get there. I don't want anyone offering to buy me a drink, so I know I need to make my way to the bar. I watch for a good ten minutes before Greg disappears into the back room. I don't see Adam. I hurry to the bar and buy a beer. I quickly make my way back to the far wall. It's the easiest place to blend in, but still see the dance floor.

I've been there over an hour when I see him. My breath catches. He's still as gorgeous as ever. He's wearing black jeans and a grey polo shirt. Then I see her. I nearly throw up. She's beautiful. She tall with long blond hair. For some reason I'm reminded of Nikki. I'm not sure why. Nikki had short hair. Then I realize it's her confidence. Something I never had. This girl knows she's gorgeous. I watch as every guy she passes checks her out. She's got long tan legs. Her denim mini skirt is short and tight. Her top is a pale yellow. The back of the top barely has a back. She's not wearing a bra. I stand watching them. Unable to move. She laughs at something he says. She touches his arm. She flips her hair back with her right hand. She leans in to say something to him and her breast brushes his chest. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I automatically reach up and wipe it away.