Always Adam

Chapter 43

Spring break was just two weeks away. I'm sitting in class when I notice a text from Carlos. I look around and quickly open it. I'm not prepared for what I read. My heart sinks. Hey Chica. That was Carlos' pet name for me. My grandma had a stroke last night. Ramiro and I have been at the hospital since they brought her in. I'll facetime you when I know more. Love you Chica. I re-read the text. I can feel my eye's filling with tears. I try to hold it together. There's only ten minutes left to class. I try to focus on the lesson but can't stop thinking about Carlos and his grandma. I'd gotten to know her and Ramiro a lot over the past few months. When class is over, I hurry to the bathroom and cry.

I text Carlos. I'm so sorry. Prayers to your grandma. I'm so upset I can be there with you. Please keep me informed. I love you. I hit send and have a sudden feeling of Deja vu. Another life changing event. I wonder how this will affect my relationship with Carlos. I get my answer several days later. I'm waiting for Carlos to facetime. He's only shared texts and a couple phone calls since his grandma's stroke. I answer his call and can see immediately he's tired and sad. "Hey," I say sad myself. "Hey," he says back. I listen while he fills me in on everything that has happened in more detail. It's worse than I thought. She will need constant care. "We can't afford to put her in care home. Ramiro and I are going to have to take care of her at home," he says. And then it happens. "I'm sorry Carly but I won't be coming home."

I think about what he said. "You mean you won't be coming home for spring break." Which I already expected. He pauses. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs. "No Chica. I mean I won't be coming home at all. Not for spring break or over the summer. It's going to take both of us to take care of her. Someone will always have to be with her. We'll have to rearrange our schedules. It can't be done with just one of us." I stare at him letting what he said sink in. My heart sinks. I'm going to lose him just like I lost Adam. I start to cry. I can't talk. My crying turns to sobbing. I can't believe this. I can hear Carlos trying to soothe me. I want to lash out at him, but I can't. This is not the same as when Adam left. This is Carlos' grandma. He has no choice.

Carlos waits until I calm down. I can see he's been crying to. "I'm so sorry Carly. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm going to lose you when I just when we were finally in a good place." I don't say anything. I just look at him and cry. We both decide to discuss our relationship another day. We both agree we need time to think about it. I hit the end button and cry some more. It's two days later when we finally talk again. We discuss our options. Keeping our relationship long distance for an unknown amount of time. Breaking up. Though neither of us wants to break up we both decide in the end it's the best decision. We're both heartbroken. We decide a clean break is best, but I tell him I'd like updates on his grandma. He promises to post them on his facebook page. That way there's no communication between us to muddy the waters.

Nat and Ava rally around me when I tell them the news. "I think I'm going to become a nun," I say watching Ava bake me some comfort cookies. "You practically live like one," Nat says. I give her a dirty look. "Come on Carly. You've had sex with one person. You need to live a little. You never should have made Carlos wait so long," she says. "Honestly I'd have had him in the sack first date." Ava pulls the first batch of cookies from the oven. "She's not a hook up kind of girl Nat. She's a relationship girl. There's nothing wrong with that." I listen as the two of them bicker over my sex life.

The smell of cookies brings Mike from his room. Nat and Ava fill him in on the Carlos situation. He puts his arm around me and gives me a hug. "I'm sorry Carly. You seem to have the worse luck with guys. I feel like I did this to you." "You should totally have sex with her to make it up to her," Nat says shoving a cookie in her mouth. "I'm always open to sex with Carly," he jokes. I hit his arm. "What. If you asked, I would not turn you down." I shake my head. "I am not ruining our friendship with sex. If I want sex, I will have sex with someone." Ava puts the next batch of cookies in the oven. "I'm still open. I've got nothing serious going on." I look at her and we all bust out laughing. "I'm up for a threesome," Mike says. We both hit him in the head with a cookie.