Hugs & Blows

Betsy

Odette missed Betsy, every moment of every day. That's what it was like to lose the closest thing she had ever had to a sister, it was now as she was sitting in bed watching this weeks' episode of Fear Nights that she was overwhelmed with such sorrow. The episode ended with a cliff hanger and "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis played through the credits.

She remembered the day she got her license to drive. Betsy and her had made plans to go to some summertime kickback in the city. They were going to drive out and crash at whatever dealer Betsy was catting around with that week, David or something.

Odette called Betsy after her test and told her she had failed it. Betsy said it was okay and they could either do something else or hitch a ride with someone. She loved Betsy for being so easy going with situations like that and she loved the look on Betsy's face when she pulled up in her brand new hybrid ford escape.

Odette remembers that night perfectly. They got drunk and high and danced on the roof. They got homemade matching tattoos that night. On the inner side of Odettes' left foot is half of a ying & yang symbol. The other half is on the inside of Betsy's right foot.

Odette rubbed her half of the tattoo. She remembers the time they showed their tattoos to Ethan and Adam. The boys loved them. Adam said they were too cool for school, and it wasn't even a dig about not going to college. Adam hadn't gone and neither had Ethan. Even though Adam and Ethan were seriously successful and even famous, she never felt judged by them.

"Checkmate california." she said aloud to no one other than herself. At times she thought she hated this land of beautiful people, and then other times she realized how much she truly loved these people. She felt at home with them more than she ever did in the town she was born and raised.

Odette has some theories about home. She thinks that maybe it isn't a place. Maybe it's a feeling inside you that certain things invoke. Parts of Kentucky do that for her, sights and smells from her childhood, but nothing does it the way Ethan, her friends, and Tic Tac Joe's does it.

She laughs at her luck, she remembers the drunken night on the new york subway arguing with Betsy over where to go next. Odette wanted Seattle, wanted to live out some cliched fantasy fueled by 90s grunge. But she gave into Betsy and the next afternoon they woke up and began the next road trip severely hung over.

Odette had Betsy to thank for her newfound happiness and home. She never properly thanked her, but she believed that Betsy knew that she had known what was best for her, even though Odette herself had not.

Odette loved Betsy, and she was trying to quit blaming her death on herself. Maybe Odette was never capable of saving Betsy, all the loved ones of addicts aimed selfhelp books say you can't save anyone but yourself. But in a way, Betsy had saved Odette.

Betsy was more than a best friend and an almost sister, Odette decided. Betsy was a savior.