Hugs & Blows

Blue Christmas

A month goes by, and all of the sudden it's the week because christmas. Ethan and Odette have plans to go back home. Odette is excited because she adores Ethan's lovely family, and he seems to enjoy the company of her dysfunctional one. Odette can't help but smile whine she stands at the sink.

She thinks of the big hug she can't wait to get from Ethan's mother Christine, and the excited squeales the children will make when they get the presents that Odette spent weeks picking out. She hopes Ellie's mother BreeLeigh, let's Odette lets her put makeup on Ellie during dress up time before a tea party again.

She loved playing video games with the twins, Daxon and Harley too. It was as if the Parkers were the family Odette always wanted. She felt completely accepted by all of them. When she first met Christine in christmas at thanksgiving Christine had hugged her tightly and said "Those tabloid pictures don't do you justice, you're breathtakingly beautiful!" Odette had blushed brightly and said "thank you." quite graciously.

Ever since Anthony, and probably even before Odette has had a thing about boys and their mothers. Boys who hated their mothers were rapis, and boys who loved their mothers too much were serial killers, and sometimes vice versa and other times they were both, was always Odette's belief. She knew it was a massive generalization but she couldn't stop herself from thinking it. Due to Evan's bicep tattoo she had been worried about his mother and him. She had also worried that her name over his heart was something Christine would resent, but as soon as she meant the lovely older woman all of her fears vanished.

Ethan's three aunts Andy, Georgia, and Jessica had even included Odette when they made cookies and tea. Odette's own mother never baked with her. But her family all seemed enamored with Ethan, at first she had figured her family's approval would lessen the shiny appeal of her boyfriend, but it honestly and surprisingly intensified his glow.

Odette walks into the bedroom, Ethan's bedroom, her bedroom, their bedroom. They've been living together for what feels like forever yet it still feels unreal. She's carrying a cold glass of ice water, the condensation is running over her fingers, they're in the middle of a heat wave and she can barely stand it, it only adds to her excitement for Michigan.

Ethan is sitting on the floor in front of the bed, he's breathing but he isn't moving. She goes to him and wonders what's wrong, she thinks that this might be what she was like when Betsy died. She drops the glass in shock and runs to him. The ice and cold water spill out and spread all over the hardwood floor, but the air is so tainted with sadness that it breaks the laws of physics, lessens gravity's pull and the fragile cup doesn't shatter even though it slammed to the floor with a frightening thud.

Ethan's lovely and expressive brown eyes are rimmed with red, his cheeks have streaks of raw skin from tears. He wraps his arms around her hips and rests his wobbly chin on her lower abdomen, looking up at her in a way that shatters her pounding heart.

She has never seen Ethan look so broken, so defeated. She immediately assumes that she has down something to cause this and she hates herself, she runs her fingers through his hair and says "Baby, what's wrong?"

Ethan parts his red lips, they look chapped and swollen, he has this unbreakable habit of worrying his full bottom lip between his perfect white teeth when he's upset. Like if he draws enough blood from them he won't have to hear whatever it is that's bothering him. It never works. He always ends up with a red, raw, and rough mouth and knowledge he wish he didn't possess.

He tries to speak but is not calm enough to find his voice. He moves his head, and with his face against Odette's stomach he starts to breakdown, body bouncing with sobs. The tears soak through Odette's shirt and dampen her skin, they make her skin itch. She runs her fingers through his hair, and holds him to her tightly. "It's okay sweetheart. I promise, I love you. How can I make it better."

He just shakes his head no, and she quiets before sliding down to sit in his lap and hold him with her arms and her legs. He rocks back and forth a little, holding her tighter. He secretly worries that Odette is silently judging him. He wants to always be her rock and protector but he isn't sure that he'll be able to if she thinks of him as a pussy from now on.

Odette his kissing his face and whispering something to him, but her voice is too quiet and soothingly gentle he doesn't understand the words the syllables form. He leans into the caresses she's leaving on his face and tries to calm down. He believes the word for how he's acting is "hysterical." Someone once told him that that word came from a latin or maybe greek word that meant uterus, he remembers that and feels like even less of a man.