Hugs & Blows

A Forgotten Night

Odette was sitting in her car, back home one winter night. She had sneaked out to enjoy the sober silence. It was well past midnight, and far too chilly for her tank top and short shorts. She was eating peppermint bark and drinking a ginger ale.

She thought back to her childhood she had always called it "Ginger Rale." and then one day she read the can and was shocked to find that it was "Ginger Ale." She still added the extra R accidentally. A habit too instilled in her existence for her to break.

It was so silent that all she could hear was the crackle of soda pop carbonation and the snap of her treats. They were white chocolate with peppermint bits with a bottom layer of dark chocolate. She hated dark chocolate and always attempted to break that part off.

It was a cold tasting treat, it complimented the chilly night well. She shook and watched in rapt fascination at the shadows the front lawn tree branches casted on the face of her extravagant house.

The fizz of her soda reminded her of cars driving on gravel. Every time she pictured gravel she pictured rocks littered with the brown glass of broken beer bottles. She doesn't know why. She reached over and used the palm of her hand to cover the can, she still heard the noise, she began to wonder if the noise was trash being blown in the breeze outside, she turned around and saw nothing but soft moving fingers of green grass and the cars in the driveway.

She pressed the button on the lower left side of the drivers seat, reclining the chair. Her phone rang and she answered it. Odette will always remember a lot about that conversation, they talked about life, happiness, and mistakes. Odette hung up the phone and ran inside. She was determined to change her ways, be the person she wanted to be.

She eventually reentered her home and went into the bathroom, she looked at her reflection, examined it like a doctor or maybe an artist. She briefly hesitated with her hand on the corner of the mirror, she thought about opening it up and rifling through the medicine housed in the cabinet. She thought about popping some of her mothers pills to sleep, or some of her own prescription to study.

She doesn't take anything and instead she writes.

That's what Odette remembers as Ethan helps her out of the shower and into a towel. She bursts into tears, for she has broken her own heart. It kills her to remember the lovely time when she was so very hopeful. She knows she can't keep doing this to Ethan, nor to herself. She has to give recovery her all. She needs to eat like she means it, and smile sincerely. She has to fucking try.