Mairi Prompts

Trauma Bond <trigger warning; anxiety attack, drowning, unhealthy manners>

The waves swallowed him and tossed him around like he weighed nothing. He felt the glass from destroyed buildings pierce his skin , he felt the debris tug at his skin and tear through it. He could feel the water go down his throat and choke him.

He felt himself push through the force. He felt his skin make contact with air and he screamed.

He screamed for a boy he lost. He screamed for help, he screamed for his parents, he screamed through the pain.

He wanted his boyfriend back.
He wanted what the waters stole from him.

"Mattia!"

Kairi?

"Kairi!"

"Wake up! Babe, you need to wake up—"

Mattia woke up with a demanding urge to breathe. His arms flailed only to be captured by gentle hands.

"Hey, hey." Kairi cooed, "Open your eyes. Open your eyes, Matti."

Mattia did.

His vision blurred before coming together and focused on Kairi who was sitting up and holding him to his chest.

"Nightmare, Kai'," He slurred, his body shuddering as his breathing picked up, "Lost you, lost you, couldn't find you.." Mattia rambled as he clenched Kairi's shirt in his hands. He could feel his breathing stutter as he desperately tried to inhale, his body shook, his vision swam and he knew he was here on solid ground but it felt like he was back underwater because he couldn't breath.

Oh, God. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Mattia was back underwater. He was lost again. He didn't have Kairi and dead bodies were floating around them. Mattia remembers the feeling of touching one if he thought about it hard enough.

"—tia, breathe, come on back to me. Remember? I'm right here. I've got you. Just follow my breathing." Kairi was instructing him. He was here, always here.

Mattia finally could breathe.

He matched Kairi's breathing and slowly released his tight hold on the boys shirt.

"Hey, It's okay." Kairi soothed, he ran his fingers through Mattia's hair and gave a small smile. Mattia realized that Kairi sounded shaken up himself.

"Nightmare to?"

"Yeah.."

Mattia pulled Kairi closer and nuzzled against him.

"How do you feel today, Mattia?" The woman in white asked, her notepad out and leaning in.

"I'm fine."

It was a lie.

They both knew it but she didn't press on.

Therapy; his parents forced him to go claiming it would do him good but why is it when he was in this room he felt wrong. He felt unsettled and nervous and he just wanted Kairi.

"How's your relationship with Kairi?" She seemed sweet when she asked but he knew what she meant.

Mattia's gaze was sharp and his features blank when he stared back; they were devoid of the usual charisma he had.

"We're good." He said, he wanted to growl it out to show her that it wasn't any of her business.

He didn't tell her that he felt the urge to puke whenever he was far from the boy. That it was like the water was back and he couldn't breathe.

That sometimes Kairi would hold his hand tightly in public as if he was afraid Mattia would be swept away.

Kairi let out a sigh as he leaned into the couch and stared at the man before him.

"Kairi, we can't improve if you don't tell me anything." He said, his tone gentle as if speaking to a spooked animal.

It irked Kairi and he could feel his eyebrow twitch.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I don't have anything to tell."

"How about we talk about Mattia? Yeah? I know he was there with you during the incident."

Incident.

As if they didn't almost die. As if Mattia didn't almost drown like he didn't watch Mattia cling to him with fear or how Mattia woke up in the night screaming it was as if Kairi didn't struggle to shower when he used to love them.

As if Kairi didn't race to Mattia's when thunderstorms would start or how he blamed himself for losing the boy for having such a weak grip.

Yes, a incident.

How Mattia would breakdown sobbing if Kairi left his sight or Kairi would stop breathing when the boys would jokingly tug Mattia out of his hands.

"What about it?" He growled, his eyes narrowing at the man, "What would you like to discuss, sir? We're fine."

They only needed each other other and that was it.

They didn't need therapy.

Kairi walked out of the session twenty minutes earlier than necessary and waited for his boyfriend to come out and when he came out he grasped Kairi's hand and rushed out of the building.

They had went home and curled into each other blocking out the world and focusing on themselves.

That night when Mattia stared at himself in the mirror looking at all the scars he grimaced. His body wasn't the same; it was scarless before the tsunami and now? It was ugly.

He would never be the same.

Kairi came up from behind and wrapped his arms around Mattia's waist. He gently kissed Mattia's shoulder blade then smiled at him in the mirror.

"I think you look beautiful." He whispered.

That's all Mattia needed.

Yes, he wouldn't be the same but Kairi didn't expect Mattia to be.

Kairi would be there through it all just like Mattia would be for him.

That's all Mattia would ever need.

Just Kairi and Mattia.