Mairi Prompts

Have you? ⚠️trigger;read with caution⚠️

Have you ever felt your breathing stop?

Have you ever felt the way the world crushed you?

Have you ever felt the pain of your Mother slapping you because she didn't accept you?

Have you ever hated yourself to the point you wished you weren't alive?

Mattia let himself wail, let his body scream in misery, he could feel his throat close up and his mind scream to breathe.

His shoulders shook as he pressed his head to the floor; desperately, he sucked in oxygen.

Have you ever experienced the pain of looking your Mother in the eyes while whispering the truth that she believed was a lie?

Have you ever experienced the pain of your family shunning you for something you can't control?

No?

Mattia leaned against his bed and stared at the ceiling with a blank look.

Have you ever lost control of yourself and let your misery take hold?

No?

Have you ever reflected on the world because some days you couldn't stop thinking?

Have you ever lost yourself to the point of no return?

Have you ever broken yourself?

The bedroom that once looked clean and neat now laid in destruction and Mattia sat in the center of it all; the floors were littered with clothes and the desks were tipped over. His anger letting him unleash a disaster upon his room.

He room was his only comfort but also the place that left him reeling in his thoughts that would leave him breaking his mind; he hadn't left it since that night. That night they refused to believe him. Refused to accept him; all he wanted was acceptance.

Gianluca wasn't even allowed to come into his room. His baby brother wanted to see him—he had heard them fighting about it—but his parents refused that too.

Mattia couldn't cry anymore.

He wanted to cry.

He wanted to scream.

He couldn't anymore. He couldn't feel anything anymore; he shut that part off and he couldn't turn it back on.

When he tried to cry his throat would clog up and his vision would swim but no tears would ever leak out.

Have you ever shut off your emotions because you were scared of getting hurt?

No?

Have you ever craved for acceptance?

Have you ever begged God to fix you?

Have you ever pleaded for anyone to hear you?

Have you ever wished for someone to hold you together when you couldn't?

Have you ever begged for contact because you secluded yourself to the point of becoming touch starved?

"Mattia!"

Mattia's eyes zoned in on the figure crouched in front of him. He blinked in confusion; his mind slow in taking in the familiar face. His vision bleary from staring at the wall for hours.

"Kairi?" He croaked.

"Mattia, what happened? Are you okay?" Kairi demanded as grasped Mattia's face in between his hands, "You weren't answering and it's been a week, dude."

Mattia felt emotion overwhelm him as he stared at the older boy.

"Kairi.." He babbled, "Kairi, Kairi, please.."

The youngest grasped Kairi's forearms and tossed himself into the boy's chest. He scrambled to get enough skin on skin contact; he couldn't believe it.

Kairi was here.

Finally, someone heard his pleas.

Have you ever been glad to see someone to the point you couldn't talk but only cry?

Kairi froze as he listened to Mattia wail. He felt Mattia's body shake against his own. Kairi held Mattia close to his chest and gently ran soothing circles against Mattia's back.

"'Tia, baby, what happened?" He whispered, dread pooling in his stomach.

"Told 'em," Mattia rambled, his breathing rapidly picking up, "tol' em', tol' em', I was..am..gay. Not happy, Kai."

Kairi felt Mattia shake his head against his chest, "Not happy, slapped me, yelled..always yelling," the younger heaved, "took my phone..took away everything.."

It's been a week. A fucking week.

They told Kairi that his boyfriend was sick.

Kairi felt a fire start in his soul.

"Okay, okay, babe, come here."

Kairi helped the boy stand and gently led them to Mattia's bed.

There, did they lay under the sheets where the world felt forgotten just for a moment.

There did Kairi hold Mattia to his chest and whisper reassuring words to ease the boy. Kairi stared into broken eyes and watched as life slowly poured into them with each word he spoke.

Have you ever felt what it was like to be put back together?

As the sun rose, Kari had managed to get Mattia to laugh, a sound he had desperately missed even if it was only for a few hours although it was a bit cut short and slightly hollow but it did mean Mattia was coming back to him.

Kairi gently threaded his fingers through Mattia's hair as he stared at Mattia's sleeping face. It contained peace instead of the misery that he had encountered earlier.

Kairi was going to keep Mattia safe.

He was taking Mattia back to his home once the boy awoken.

Have you ever experienced pain like this?

No?

Aren't you lucky.