Whatever oneshots •Boyf riends•

Bmc crack

I'm not dead

Spooky music plays as a totally straight Jeremy Heere is with candidate number 1 for the bachelor, its his Mac book pro.

Jeremy does what any teen does when met face to face with internet, searches up crazy fanfics about his favourite ships and stans his favourite musical actors. "I really like that Will Roland guy." Jeremy says.

Jeremy screams in horror as he gazes upon Papa no pants mans hideous face.

He ends up at school and the first thing he sees is this musicals  Heathers, this musicals Veronica shifts uncomfortably away from them and bumps into also totally straight Richard Goranski.

"Hey, is Michael a top or a bottom? Just asking."
"Well that sure was weird."

Jeremy goes to class and shuffles between his candidates, he mostly thinks about his computer and Christine, because they both start with the letter C. But quickly changes his mind and decides that M is best letter in the alphabet and goes off to find Michael.

Michael with a b shows up and is all totally very straight. Not a single gay cell is inside this man. Not at all.

Since Michael isn't gay enough for Jeremy he quickly goes back to liking Christine, I guess.

Michael tries to super glue Jeremy to Christine but ultimately misses and glues him to the play rehearsal sign instead. Everyone interprets this as Michael pushing Jeremy to the wall and rich squeals in excitement in front of everybody.

Michael kinda just leaves Jeremy there to rot until suddenly play rehearsal is starting. When Christine gets there she lists of the reasons why she should be a Disney Princess.

"That's great." Tallass and Hotass say at the same time. Christine super glues herself to jake and Jeremy vibrates off the wall in jealousy and angst.

Rich hunts him down in the boys bathroom. "Your candidates suck. You should go with your computer." Rich says, turning from bully to matchmaker. But before he can do anything else to pursue Jeremy's love life, his squip makes him vibrate until he ships Boyf riends again.

Oh yeah, SQUIPs are a thing. Some hate boyf riends, and some love it. Jeremy thinks it's a great idea to get a squip to intel him on his final choice on the bachelor for who he'll marry.

Michael thinks this is a terrible idea.

But in hopes Jeremy gets a squip that supports Boyf riends he lets Jeremy do it.

The two go to the mall and get a Squip, but when Jeremy takes it, it doesn't work. Wow, exciting!

Michael leaves for milk and Jeremy is reminded of his terrible life and goes to commit arson.

But before he can do that he tries to tell Christine about his feelings, knowing he'll pull a Yuri wether she says yes or no. But then the squip comes in all like, "Nah fam, this ain't even half of the first act yet."

He says, before bullying Jeremy. How fun!

Suddenly it's the heathers again, but their actual names are lipstick and book Jeremy.

When Jeremy questions this, the squip pulls out the be more chill book and explains that Jeremy pulled a do you wanna ride on Michael in his past life; sixteen years ago. He knows this because Riches squip won't shut up about it and boyf riends.

It's very clear the squip isn't a boyf riends fan, but Jeremy can't tell because he's losing to the girls in piggy in the middle.

Jeremy ultimately decides women suck and wants to go find Michael again.