Only A Kiss - boyxboy

Chapter 18 - We found love

I didn't really know how to act around Simon so much anymore. We still hang out but I tried to keep my distance. I needed this friendship more than anything, and I didn't want to fuck it up by admitting I had feelings for him. I know it didn't work out well last time I couldn't admit my feelings, but that was different. We had already complicated things by kissing and we were young and probably lived miles away from one another.

This time, a kiss would only ruin the friendship and I would have to see him every day to make things feel a trillion times worse. And I knew he didn't have feelings for me like that so there really was only that outcome. I had asked him one evening about his love life, some point when I was still with Jess.

'How come I never see you going out on dates and stuff? Is there anyone you wanna tell me about? You know about Jess so its only fair I know about your love life.' I kept it light-key and jokey.

Looking back on it, I was probably a bit too curious.

 'Well, there is only one person for me at the moment. You're not ready to know about that yet, it's early days. I don't know what's going to happen with it.'

My heart sunk a little at hearing this, probably jealousy and I didn't even know at the time. Well at least I knew he was kind of taken and it was aparently 'the only person' he wanted. No chance for me, not that I realised until now.

I wasn't looking forward to tonight. It was Friday and there was some celebratory drinks for the whole company - we had just completed the first issue and it was to be printed and put on sale by Monday. I was dead excited for this, just not the drinks. I would have to spend time with Simon, with alcohol involvement.

Bubbly was to be passed round the whole entire office and we were to meet upstairs outside Simon's office for a speech. Then some of us would be heading out for more drinks. I couldn't exactly get away with saying no to my best friend and avoid the bar.

It started off well. Everyone was in their own little world over how smoothly the issue come together and how impressed they were. You'd have been hard-pressed to find someone saying that they were definately going to be buying the magazine and not actually genuinly mean it.

I obviously knew what was going to be in the sports section, but I was looking forward to reading the whole thing. Most of us knew bits and pieces but tried to keep as much of it a secret so we could enjoy the release.

Simon gave a good speech and we hung around in the space for about an hour or so before someone suggested we head out to the bar. Loads of us ended up walking down the street together and it was such a sight. Way more came than the first lot of meet and greet drinks we had had.

I managed to avoid Simon a lot that night which was a good thing. I stayed at the bar mostly, having plenty of drinks. I was tipsy but didn't get too drunk. I thought I could get away with slipping away early as Simon was pretty distracted by one of the guys in advertising. They seemed pretty flirty. Maybe this was the mystery guy he was seeing. I felt a pang of jealousy and knew it was time for me to go.

I quickly ran out the bar and headed to get a cab. Before I could even say my destination, Simon jumped in next to me and gave the man his address. 'We need to talk Cas.' That was all he said as we silently made our way to his. He took us up to his place in silence and sat down on his couch, still not saying anything.

'What's going on mate? You were miserable tonight and just snuck off without saying a word. I am your friend, you can tell me anything.'

'Friend. That's all we are to you isn't it?'

'Ok, best friend then. I'm sorry. I don't know what I have done for you to be this way. What's going on?'

'I'm surprised you noticed I had gone, the way you were flirting with Paul like that.'

'What?! Is that what this has been about? Are you... are... are you jealous Cas?' My silence said it all. 'Shit.'

'It's ok. I know you don't feel-' That's all I managed to get out before Simon took me in his arms and crashed his lips to mine. I didn't react at first but he started caressing my face and back and I opened up my mouth a little and reacted back.

This was magical. I hadn't felt this way over a kiss since, you know. His hands were making there way all over me, and my hands were drifting around his body. We lay back onto the couch and he straddled me, rubbing his crotch against mine. Our kiss was so deep and intense, like nothing in the world mattered.

I started to get up, my lips still locked to his. He followed as we made our way to his room. He started to undo the buttons on my shirt and I began to unbuckle his belt. We fell onto the bed, desperate to be as close to one another as possible.

That's when I realised I didn't just like him, I loved him. 'Wait.' I stopped us. 'You told me there was another guy.'

'I meant you. I fell for you the minute I met you and I thought you may have started to feel the same about me but I couldn't be sure. I told you there was only one person for me, and I meant you.'

This was all too much for me. Realisation of what I was about to do hit me - I was about to ruin a friendship. It was something I had tried to avoid doing the entire time, and I had some how managed to fuck it up. I had to get out of there. That is when I did something I was good at, and ran.