꧁𝑆𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠꧂ 𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑏𝑏𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑐

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Earlier today before Shauni and Jake left.

Sebbs pov- After I ate I rushed back to my room I needed to think. I know I shouldn't care, I mean people take one look at one of your posts or videos and they assume they know everything about you. But sometimes the comments start picking on things you already don't like about yourself. It hurts know that people take one look at you and can pick out every single flaw you have, why can't people see the beauty in one another, everyone is beautiful in their own special way. I don't know what to do. I have been on my phone all day staring at comments, because I don't even know if some of them are true. How can someone hate on you for something your not even sure about yet. I mean when I'm with Monty I'm the happiest I have been in a while, Monty makes me happy but why? I didn't know what I wanted, did I catch feeling for Monty or did I just want to be his best friend. I couldn't say, why is this so hard. You either want to be with someone or you don't. What if I did like Monty as more than a friend? What if he doesn't feel the same? Ugh but is that how I feel, maybe I pushed away these feeling for no reason what if it was just me caring about Monty. No that doesn't make since because I care about all my friends and I don't feel this way. Look what these stupid comments are doing, it's just comments yet I can't help but think about them. I posted a TikTok of me and Monty yesterday dancing together and then today I looked through the comments this morning and came across lots of  comments I don't even want to reread them, but most of them are pointing out things I already hate about myself, Like my eyes, I have Anisocoria. Thats where one pupil in one eye is a different size then the other one. One of my eyes is also a little bit lighter then the other eye. There were also a lot of comments accusing me and Monty of being together, which like I said, I don't even know if thats true. I'm not gay but I know that I feel something for Monty. Monty is special I guess. These comments have been on my mind all day for no reason, it's just another person assuming things, only their assumptions are sorta correct but some of them are just mean. I guess it made me so upset because I have never liked my eyes, I have always been teased about them, But the stuff about me and Monty made me upset because everyone just assumed my sexuality. I have never really been into labels like that, like why does it have to be this or that why can't it just be as long as your happy. Well at least now I'm realizing what I want, I was going to stop being afraid of what I feel. Then suddenly Monty walked into the room, he walked over and grabbed my arm. He took me into the living room, I could tell he was annoyed with me, it's probably because I haven't said one word to him at all today. I just wanted to be alone, I didn't mean to make him upset at me. Once me and Monty were sitting down, I wanted to apologize or just hold his hand, I wanted to do anything at this point to let him know that I was sorry, But it was like I was frozen and my mouth was glued shut. I felt helpless, But then Shauni began to speak, she told us that her and Jake were moving back home to create more of the content that they liked. I was shocked, I  didn't want them to leave the squad but they said its whats best for them so I guess its what they should do. Everyone, including me got up and hugged the two of them. We all had such a great bond that it was sad to see our friends leave. After a few moments of sadness they went upstairs to pack their things. About an hour later they came back downstairs with their things, It was sad seeing them with all their things packed up, Knowing that they wouldn't be apart of the squad anymore was upsetting. Shauni even teared up a little but we said our goodbyes and gave more hugs then they left. Once they did I realized that Monty was standing next to me with an upset look on his face. I felt as if I had ruined anything I had with him, I should of went to him and told him but I didn't. Instead Lily asked if we wanted to watch a movie but I couldn't, I quickly went to my room. I tried to shut the door behind me but someone stopped it from closing all the way, I turned around to see Monty standing there with his arms folded, "Please go away" I said turning away from him. Of course he just took a few steps toward me and asked "Sebb whats your problem? Did I do something wrong?" "No you didn't do anything wrong Monty" I told him trying to keep my voice from shaking. "Then what is up with you? Everything has been great and then today you just make me feel as if you don't care about me or anyone else. Its like one moment your happy with me and the next moment you don't even want to speak to me..." When he said that I immediately felt horrible, "Im sorry Monty, I didn't m-mean to make y-you feel that way. I don't hate you, I could never hate you" I said stuttering on a couple words. " Its okay Sebb but what has been bothering you, your obviously upset about something." I sighed and told him about everything, "Sebb why does this bother you so much, These people don't know how amazing you are?" He asked, I just stood there quietly. " why didn't you just come to me and talk to me about it, instead of not talking to me all day?" He asked this time stepping even closer to me. "Because Monty I wasn't sure about it at first but I-" I paused for a moment because I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence, I have always been awful at telling people how I felt. "You what Sebb?" Monty asked continuing to get closer. What do I say how do I tell him, at this point I was nervous, but I felt Montys hand on my shoulder, I turned around to face him, He looked straight into my eyes, it was like without saying a word he knew what I was going to say. He got closer to me still not breaking our eye contact, He leaned in and kissed me. It was one of those saying everything that needed to be said with saying anything moments. When the kiss broke He still held on to me, I laid my head on his shoulder, It was comforting and peaceful. Unfortunately Kt and Lily walked into the room, I still didn't move off of Monty. Monty just turned his head to face them, "Oh um sorry for interrupting, we just wanted to let you guys know that Lauren and Emily are coming over" Lily said. "its fine, um we will be out there in a minute" Monty told the girls, They left the room giggling. Monty looked back down at me, he raised his hand and stroked my hair. After a few moments Monty finally spoke "Sebby we have to leave your room at some point." "Who says?" I asked. He just chuckled at my reply, "Come on Sebby we continue this later". I finally raised my head to look at him "You promise?" I asked. "Umm Last time I checked you were the one who didn't speak to me all day" He said jokingly. "Haha" I mocked him. "I promise" He said smiling at me. I pecked him on the lips, He removed his arms from around me then he reached down and grabbed my hand. We walked out of my room only to see everyone at the front door greeting Em and Loz. Loz was hugging Kt but once she saw Monty she quickly ran up and hugged Monty, she practically jumped onto him causing us to lose grip of each others hands. I got kinda jealous but I knew that him and Loz had worked everything out and had actually became good friends, I just walked over to the door to say hi to Em. She turned to me and smiled, I hugged her. "Alright I'm going to order food and we can all watch a movie" Kt said, excitement in her voice. I smiled at Kt as we all went into the living room, All of us except Monty and Loz, I looked back near the door and there they were Monty still holding Loz. I didn't like it but I kept reminding myself they were just friends. I continued to go into the living room, Kt ordered the food. Lily asked if we wanted to make a tiktok since Em was here, of course we all said yes. We made like three different ones which took a while and Monty and Loz still hadn't came in. What were they doing that was taking  so long? I started replaying the moment when I walked in on Monty and Loz kissing, But  quickly stopped myself because I don't think Monty would do anything like that to me. "Hey guys come here Look at this" Em said, All of us sat down next to her and looked at her phone, She was showing us a comment on the tiktok we just made, what it said shocked me, Please no, No no no I thought in my head.

————————————————————————Sorry It's taking a minute for these chapters to come out, I have been busy but I'm trying.

Also thank you sm for 3k reads!

Word count- 1715