Dance of My Life (Dream Series 1)

PERFORMANCE 1

CHAPTER 1

Audition

“Hey Vely don’t cry, you did your best okay? Bawi nalang tayo next time.” Pag-aalo ng bestfriend ko na si Silvanna dahil hindi nanaman ako nakapasa sa audition kanina. The judges said that they haven’t seen any kind of emotion in my dance. There’s a story but my emotions are invisible while I’m dancing.

I don’t know, is it because I am missing my family? My home?

It’s been four years now, since I left in our house located in Malolos, Bulacan. Mula noon dito na ako tumira sa Camarines Norte. Silvanna’s hometown. Nag audition ako sa iba’t ibang patimpalak dito magmula ng umalis ako pero kahit isa doon ay hindi ako napili. This is not me. I am not like this before.

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa rooftop ng bahay nila Silv. Nakatanaw sa malawak na plantation nila na matatagpuan sa likod ng bahay lamang. Iba’t ibang klase ng gulay at prutas ang mga nakatanim doon, malalanghap mo rin ang sariwang hangin na nanggagaling sa bundok na nakapaligid hindi malayo sa kanilang malawak na lupain. Sa harap naman ng kanilang bahay  ay maririnig mo ang alon ng dagat. Hindi ko maiwasang mapa-buntong  hininga ng malalim. Dito lang sa lugar na ito ako nakakapag-isip ng maayos, lalo na kapag tungkol sa pangarap ko. Nagsimulang umihip ang pang gabing hangin at nilipad nito ang nakalugay kong buhok.

I remember my grandfather said before, that I was great when I dance. Full of emotions and good at expression, that’s what important when it comes to dancing. He’s always says that I should remember the two E.

“Emotions and expression are important when you are dancing pero bakit kada salang ko sa audition lagi itong hindi nakikita? What’s wrong with me Silv?” I blurted out while wiping my tears. I don’t want to cry but I can’t help it. Bakit napakahina ko pagdating dito?

“It’s because you struggled a lot Vely, since then. About what happened four years ago. You’ve feel so much emotions hanggang sa naging manhid na ang pakiramdam mo. Hanggang sa nawala yung dating ikaw.” She said and I can’t help but to agree with her. I lost myself the way my family lost me.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now Silv. I practiced a lot. I did my best to become better but I failed again, because of my emotions! Gusto ko lang naman na mabago ang paniniwala ng pamilya ko sa salitang sayaw kapag bumalik ako, hoping that they will accept me and my dreams again.”

“Then take a break for a while, magpahinga ka muna Vely. Recover first for what happened and find your lost self. Pati nga pag-aaral mo naapektuhan na rin. Kasi kahit ilang taon pa ang lumipas hanggat hindi mo naibabalik ang dating ikaw, wala rin.”

“You will fail again and again! So try to focus on your study first, kunin mo muna ang kursong gusto ng pamilya mo para sayo, then after you graduated focus on your passion now. Wala na silang maisusumbat sayo.” after she said that, the smile on my face suddenly appear. Her words marked in my heart.

So I did what she said. For the past five years, I took a break from auditioning and just focus on my study until I graduated. After that, I practiced a lot. It took me five years before I’d finally find myself again, not exactly myself before but a new better version of me. My lost self was also a wrecked, I just realized that. Ilang beses kong sinubukang hanapin ang dati kong pagkatao pero patuloy lang akong nagkakamali kaya hinanap ko ang better version ng sarili ko. I took all my experience and take it as a lesson.

I graduated bachelor of fine arts, isang taon akong gumawa ng mga painting to earn some money until it became my hobby but this is not my real dreams in life, so I stopped. I want to pursue my passion so here I am now, ready to do another audition again, hoping I will not fail again like the past years.