Damien Haas Imagines

apart from maybes (sequel)

My life in NZ was going great, I got a job right I landed here. I admit the first week of staying here were not great for me, I was still suffering from a heartbreak and I hide it from my dear fianceé.

It's been almost a year, we haven't planned the wedding yet. When I asked him to come with me and set plans, his answer always was, "the wedding can wait." What if I'm the one who can't wait?

As I was cooking, my phone rang. It was Courtney. She would call me once a week and talk about what's happening in LA and here in NZ.

"How are you guys? How's Damien?"
"Shayne? Keith? Noah?" I recited more names so it wouldn't be weird.

"They're good. Damien's getting married this week."

When I thought I moved on, my heart dropped down on the floor. It was a blur, everything she was saying was a blur. I made up a lame excuse so I can hang up.

I kept denying my feelings for him since I left but now my bottled feelings just poured out. It was like the day on the cab, I can barely breathe anymore and I just crashed down on the floor, hugging my knees.

"Jesus Christ, y/n. Are you okay?" he rushed to me as soon as he entered the kitchen.

"In-haler," I said between my breaths.

He ran out of the room and went back, patting my back while I breathe from the inhaler.

When I calm down, I asked him point-blank, "when are we going to get married?"

"You almost died and all you ever think is the wedding."
"Why are you so obsessed with this wedding?" He stood up, left me sitting on the floor.

I followed him in the living room, "because you asked me to marry you."

He took his coat, attempting to be leaving.

I pulled him by the arm, "No. You're not escaping this conversation."

His face turned red from anger.

"I've been waiting. Just like you promised."
"Why did you even asked me to marry you if you're not ready?" My tears fell again, I'm such a crybaby.

"I know about him, y/n. Is that what you want to hear?"

I was shocked, I didn't even have the time to defend myself.

"I know about Damien." He spoke out again.

I was left silent.

"I love you so much that it hurts. I know you're done but the thought of you doing that to me."
"Let's just stop and rethink if what we're doing is right." He took my hand.

"I think you're right. Let's pause for a moment."

After our conversation, I booked a flight to LA for the next day. I packed my bags and waited.

"I love you," He sat down beside me.

I hugged him, "I love you too."

----
I was back in LA, just like that. I miss this; the polluted air and the large buildings.

As soon as I settled a place to sleep, I went to visit my friends.

I walked in the room, "hi guys"

They all ran to me and hug me and bombarded me with questions. They released me from their sweet and tight hug.

"We miss you so much."
"I miss you too" especially Damien who is nowhere to be found.

They all asked me questions and left me with no pause to answer.

"Why did you leave us like that?" Olivia asked.
"I ---" my explaining was interrupted.

"What's this commotion about?" Ian shouted when he walked into the room along with Shayne and Damien.

My eyes stayed on him, only him.

"Y/n! You're back." Shayne exclaimed and ran to hug me, Ian then followed.

What hurts more than two large kids squeezing your soul out? Probably seeing Damien just standing there.

"I barely survived," I said as they released me.

He was staring at me and standing there like the last time I saw him.

"Hey" I attempted to hug him but back out.
"You're back," he said

"Yes. I am" I tried to smile.
"But, why?"
"I'm here to see your wedding if I get an invitation."
"I emailed it to you last month." His stare can melt me.

"Okay. Cool."

After that awkward interaction, they pulled me to a bar. The last thing I want is to get drunk and spill out all my emotions in front of my friends.

"If I knew you were gonna leave, I wouldn't have stolen your last piece of pizza," Keith said
"Hey, guess what Keith. I'm back and I only accept pizzas for apologies." I joked.

Ian raised his bottle of beer, "cheers for the returned hero."

Courtney joined in, "and for Damien's wedding."
"Yeah. And Damien." Ian said

We all cheer to that. Damien pulled me at the corner. That's new, he isn't secretive anymore.

"You're back," He said again.
"Is it that hard to believe?"

"Are you here to give me second thoughts?"

I took a sipped of my beer, "it depends on how you will interpret it."

I walked away from him. No matter how hard I try, I'm always the girl who gives him second thoughts and I'm never the choice.

-----
The day of the wedding came, and I told myself that I can control myself. I don't want to be crying louder than the mother of the bride.

Before the event could start, I snuck to Damien's room. He was gorgeous than ever and all I can do is to admire afar.

"How are you?" I asked
"Nervous."

I walked to him, helping him to cuff his sleeves. He looks at me, I can't see it but I feel it.

"This still could work," He said
"Nothing's gonna work, Damien. You're gonna be a married man."

I took his coat from the bed, "you had your time to choose and it's very clear who you chose."

He turned around, I put his coat to him.

"But, I love you." He said
"And, you're still getting married."
"To her" I spit out the bitter truth.

He faced me and I patted down his shoulder.

"We can forget about each other, can we?" I asked.

He didn't say anything.

"Smile, you're getting married," I said to him before I left.

It hurts so much to see the man I love, marry someone. I should be the one up there, saying vows but here I am, trying my best to smile and feel happy for him.

"I do," he said with his matching killer smile.

I had to learn the truth in a way that can destroy me. But, nothing tastes better than having a sense of relief, knowing I don't have to crucify myself for guilt anymore.

I learned to love him and now I'm gonna learn how to unlove him. The first step is to admit that we are not each other's maybes — maybe someday, maybe in another universe, or maybe this could work. We are just part of each other's stories; something to tell for our grandkids. I have to swallow the bitter pill that we are destined to meet but not to stay together forever.

----
In the lobby of my hotel that I was staying in, he was there. The man who I promised to marry.

"I'm ready," he said as I approached him.

I nodded and smiled.

Damien loves me but there's someone else who also loves me more than him — me.