Against society [AMBW]

Chapter Thirty Five

W9~ Saturday

"Stop loving him." She hisses, throwing me off guard.

"Ma, I-I can't..." Just the tone of my voice alone emphasises my desperation.

"You will do as your told, Faviola!" She orders, rage intertwined with her tone.

She stands up and walks over to my large window. Her anger radiates off her body, filling the room with tension as she proceeds to stare out the window.

"Ma, I can't stop loving someone." I plead.

"You're eighteen, isn't?"

"Yes, Ma."

"So why are you playing around with boys? Finish school, become a doctor and then get married." She doesn't turn back once.

"But I don't want that life, Ma, that's your plan, not mine."

"What do you want to do then? Run away with an Oriental?"

"I want to do: computing, basketball, sewing, history..."

"Those are just hobbies, na. You will enjoy it, then get tired."

I rub my eyes again, catching yet another tear. My head pounds with the circling questions and commandments from her. I'm not able to control how I feel, my feelings are not a switch I choose to turn and off whenever I want.

"Ma, I've been studying science and computing since the age of nine. But you see, the difference is that I've never once enjoyed science."

"You get straight A's in every test."

"That's the same for every single subject. I get those grades because I study, not because I enjoy it."

"Focus on becoming a doctor first, then do computing. For now I don't want to see you around that boy." She takes a quick irritated glance back at me, then continues to my door, as if to leave.

"Who hurt you?" My voice remains calm. I rip off the covers from my body and get out of bed, slowly making my way over to her.

All of a sudden, she brings her body to a quick halt. Obviously affected by my question. I have no intention of attitude or rudeness, I'm just generally confused.

"What does that mean?" She kisses her teeth, her face still turned away from me.

"Who hurt you? Why do you talk as if it's from experience?" My voice becomes heavy and deep, as my ears listen out to the now apparent and loud heartbeats.

"I don't know why you're asking nonsense questions." She swats her hand in dismissal and continues along the hallway leaving my door open.

"Ma, who did you love before daddy? Please, I just want to understand."

Her sigh is irritated and tired, resulting in her turning around with the dark eyes. They say the eyes are the gateway to understanding a person, but with my mother, she has a padlock attached. A lock, trapping in her feelings, her emotions, replaced with structure and routine.

"Faviola... I too fell in love when I was around your age, despite knowing it was against all teachings in school and home, I ran after him every time. He blinded me from the reality and gave me the fantasy romance every girl would dream of at my age. It was an amazing dream, I enjoyed every single day. It gave me life, adventure, purpose... but I should have listened. After all, dreams only last so long."

No matter how much, her face remains unreadable and difficult. No resent, no anger, no sadness displayed. However, the slightly noticeable cracks in her voice says otherwise.

"Was he Asian?"

Unexpectantly, her eyes shoot daggers and her eyebrows furrow. My mother who is either angry or her default emotion, is showing some sort of irritation- but it's different. It's one I can hardly even put into words myself.

"Have I not said enough for you to understand?" She snaps, proceeding to turn around and continue to the direction of the stairs.

"She fell in love with an Oriental!" I mumble, still shocked by my mother's own words.

Hey guys, this is literally the shortest chapter I've ever written and the only short chapter I will write. I just felt it's best to leave it here and fast forward in the next.

You know the project I wrote about earlier... ignore that! It's not happening due to its cringiness!- that should be a word lowkey.

But ya, I'll be taking that part out soon. Anywho, hope you enjoyed.

Byeeeeee.

Love yaaaaa,

Demi FeliciaXx