Against society [AMBW]

Epilogue

The door closes under my touch, immediately triggering the centre dome light. As I adjust my eyes to the external darkness surrounding the car, my hands grip the wheel, excitement inching itself up my throat. Swinging my left hand over my body, I reach for the belt, securing it for safety.

Eyes glued to the complete nothingness behind the windshield, lips trembling, bracelets rattling in co- ordination to my hands. I make sure to push any sudden feelings of anxiety to the back of my head, switching my focus to the destination. To the future. To my happiness.

Effortlessly, my hand releases the clutch, letting go. As the car proceeds into the direction required, the view behind begins to blur in response. Gliding my middle finger over the variety of buttons on the panel, I stop on 'auto-pilot', giving it a slight tap.

My eyes roll back, as I reposition my seat to comfort myself- tilting my head up to the glass revealing the twilights fade into the blackness.

The road is forgotten under the beauty of the night sky. Seamless. It's as if I'm just moving, no pathway, just freedom.

Time.

Space.

I find this type of darkness strange. Despite never driving in the dark before this day. It's hard to believe the tranquillity of this place belongs to the same city I'm living in. There's no bustling of drunken party gooers, barking of dogs, speeding of cars- it's silent. Almost making me question whether or not I'm alone in this city or it actually has the ability to be this serene.

I had grown used to the feeling of the constant cold breeze, to the point it feels odd not to have it against my skin. I wonder how he'll adjust.

The millions of disproportionately formed stars dot themselves randomly among the black canvas above, making up the night's most powerful gift to humanity.

The night's sky.

Ma has been in contact with me every single day, giving me hope, comfort and perseverance through the month I've been counting days down for. As for Adrian, although we started keeping in contact, new restrictions formed- forbidding his access to contacting outside the country.

Every time my mind wanders off to him, the feeling of excitement makes itself present with the fluttering of butterflies and tingling of my cheeks. To be by his side was for sure a dream I never imagined I could reach, but now I am so close I can hardly wait.

Before Adrian, there was only one other guy I had fallen in love with. There was only ever him, the guy I thought would be the only one to make me feel good, however with Adrian; he's opened my eyes. I've been able to experience more than just lust, more than just happiness. It's not a feeling I can pin down... it's something I've never felt before. Adrian shows me the meaning to life, he is currently the reason for why I live. He is the person I can't wait to think about, to dream about, to write about. He's mine and I'm his.

He's some unique blend of what a real man is supposed to me, as if the universe knew exactly what I need and who I want. So, I happy to have him, and I'm also scared; there is so much fun and joy, however also a lot of pain. One could argue that it's what comes with a relationship.

All I know is that I need him.

I want him.

I love him.

The car comes to a halt.

It's time.

I bring my chair back up to the original positioning and remove my seatbelt. The release of the belt encourages the letting go of all anxiousness I had... I feel so close to him right now it's almost as if he's standing next to me outside the car.