The beeping of the machines I was linked to only increased my state of panic, as a nurse put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. It was hard for me to breathe at that point, as I didn't understand what was happening to me. I tried my best to iden...
I closed Faraji's door as quietly as possible as I walked away from his room to reach ours. The little one was more than thrilled to finally have all of his toys and clothes at the same place. He helped me put everything away, and I was amused to see that he was the one in charge of how he wanted things to be in his room. He sorted his toys in a certain order, and his stuffed toys in another one. As his birthday was coming up in a couple of days, Michael and I intended to throw him a big birthday party with all of his cousins and uncles. Faraji loved to be surrounded by his family, and everybody loved him.
I looked at the clock on the wall, and noticed it was already nine fifteen in the evening. Michael was still dealing with his meeting and his attorneys, and I had no clue when he was going to be home. This only increased my nervous state, but the confidence I felt never vanished away. It even got stronger, somehow.
I rubbed my hands over my face and decided to go out for a walk, hoping it would help me relax for a bit. Before I left the master bedroom, I grabbed one of Michael's shirts in the walk-in closet and a small soft blanket. I put my ear on Faraji's door, and not a sound was heard, letting me know he was still fast asleep thanks to the bedtime story I read to him.
"Hey Gloria, would you please keep an eye on Faraji while I go for a walk outside?" I kindly asked Michael's maid.
"Sure thing, Ms. Thames. I'll watch him."
"Thank you. I'll probably be by the lake if you need me," I let her know and she nodded, giving me a sweet smile.
As I stepped outside, a cool breeze hit my arms, making me shiver. I put the red shirt on my back, and walked away from the main house. The only sounds that could be heard were the chirping of birds and the many thoughts that were running through my head. If tonight was the last night I would spend at Neverland, then I wanted to enjoy its beauty one last time. My amazement seemed heightened, as the smallest details made me smile. I loved everything about this place: its quietness, the smell of the different flowers all over the place and how Michael's print could be found everywhere you looked. The children's statues, the rides, the animals... All of that represented him.
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I sat on the wooden bench by the lake and enjoyed the peaceful scenery before my eyes. Suddenly, I felt at ease, just looking at the mountains in the distance. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me as I sighed heavily. I was craving for Michael's presence, but at the same time I was terrified for him to come back.
I tried to think about how I would tell him, but I came to the conclusion that there was no precise way to tell this to anyone, especially not the man I was engaged to. I couldn't help but think back of when I told John about it, even though this time would be much different. Flashbacks of that night played in my mind without me being able to stop them.
"You're awfully quiet," John told me, as he was rubbing my hair back as my head was rested on his lap. "You're home early for once but I feel like you're barely here."
