The beeping of the machines I was linked to only increased my state of panic, as a nurse put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. It was hard for me to breathe at that point, as I didn't understand what was happening to me. I tried my best to iden...
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March 19th, 1993
Dear Diary,
Wow, it's been a while. I've had this brand new journal since Faraji's birthday last week, but I haven't had the time to write in here until today. Don't get me wrong, it's not because I don't have anything to say – I have a lot to say... I just didn't have the time to write.
Do you remember when I used to write that I would never tell Michael about my ability? Or when I wondered how I was supposed to tell him about my fertility issue? Well... all of this is behind me, now. I did, I told him everything – from beginning to end. I thought I would lose him, but I didn't. He hasn't freaked out the way John did and he is staying by my side. We've made plans, and I am overjoyed to let you know, Diary, that we'll be going on a family world tour from August until November for the second leg of Michael's Dangerous Tour. The first date is in Thailand. I've never been there in the past, so I can't wait, and I can't wait to be able to see Michael on stage at night and do my job during the day.
It's eight thirty in the morning, and I just said goodbye to Faraji. Michael and I enrolled him in a private school, thirty minutes away from the Ranch. He can't stop talking about how great it is and how he loves to learn new things. I was scared that he might not want to go as he took the habit of being home schooled. I think that, if I'm being honest with myself, I was the one who was scared to let him go. Of course, for safety measures, Mary is the one taking him to school, as we wouldn't like to cause any commotion there. I made sure to let the teachers know that Faraji won't be attending the first few months of the next school year, as we would still be on tour. I will make sure to be his teacher while we're on the road.
We have been pretty busy for the past week, as we needed to take care of the wedding's arrangements. Some workers are building the tent on Neverland's grounds, and seeing it there makes everything more real. I feel like my mind is at ease since I revealed the truth to Michael, and that it made room for me to actually realize what is happening to me. April 5th is just a couple of weeks away now. Today, Michael and I get to choose our wedding cake. Cake tasting shouldn't be that bad, huh?
Right after we are done with the selection of our wedding cake, Michael is taking us to see his choreographer and dancers to go over some details concerning the tour. Of course I wanted to go, I would never miss a chance to see my fiancé dance.
But today's appointments weren't half as stressful as the one waiting for us tomorrow. The one Michael got us at the fertility clinic. A part of me was freaking out on the inside, but I knew that, deep down, Michael would be by my side the entire time, and that everything would be just fine.
I put my pen down and looked at my fiancé beside me. His chest soothingly heaved up and down and as he was still fast asleep. Some of his curls were falling on his peaceful face, but I didn't put them away, afraid I would wake him up. Michael needed his rest, more than ever. On top of the wedding and our personal life, he needed to take care of his career. His next single, Who Is It, was about to be released but it seemed like he encountered some artistic problems with the director of the short film. They had different artistic views and didn't seem to agree on one, resulting on Michael wanting to quit the filming.
