I groan and roll over, grabbing my phone because its ringing is what jolted me awake. Before I answer I see the time is 11:30am.
"Hello?" I practically whine. Barely sleeping last night made me a little cranky. I wish it didn't, but it did.
"Good morning, Morgan."
My heart stops as I hear Brian's voice on the other line. "Hi Brian." I reply shyly.
"Would you care to explain to me why you left?" He asks me somewhat harshly.
"Not particularly." I decide to respond to him. Figuring I'll use the same method with him that I used on Harry, I have to be rude. Once he hates me, it will be easier for him to forget about me.
After a short pause I hear him let out a short, annoyed breath. "You are absolutely not doing the same thing you did to Harry to me. I will not let that happen."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Using a new method of playing dumb, I respond.
I hear yet another annoyed sigh through the phone. "Don't do this, Morgan." Brian warns me. "Don't pretend to not care when you do. If you didn't you would have told Harry and everyone else and actually said goodbye."
With this, I feel my eyes fill with water, blurring my vision. I can't seem to talk because there is a large lump in my throat. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't cry, darling." This breaks my heart more because I want someone else to call me that, not Brian. "Want to tell me what is happening? Explain to me why you left? It might make you feel better."
Taking a few minutes to compose myself, I wipe my tears and walk into my ensuite bathroom to grab a tissue. "I um, I had to come home for a family issue."
I hear a noise that sounds like he is nodding his head. "Mary told me that much, if you don't want to go into specifics you don't have to, but if you would like to tell me to get it off your chest you can."
Quickly, I realize I can't hide this from Brian. He is the one person who would never judge me so I might as well tell him. This way, I'll also be able to get everything out of my head and maybe sleep better tonight. Brian has always been a good listener for me, even though Mary told me a few times he isn't like that for others.
Before I answer, I take a deep breath. "I have a son." Finally vocalizing it to him, to anyone besides my dad for that matter.
The line goes silent, I have to check to make sure the call is still connected. My heart beats faster as I wait for him to respond. This is as nervous as I have been since I told my actual father about being pregnant.
"Okay, and you had to go home because of him?"
I sit on the closed toilet, stunned that it's all he asks. Maybe I started to expect the worst in people a few years ago, but I was sure he would be very angry with me. "Yes. Long story short, I lost custody of him before he was born so I moved to London to get away."
"And you never brought it up because it hurt too much."
"Exactly." I release a deep breath, thanking God that he understood what I was telling him. This could have been a completely different conversation if he had reacted differently. "Thank you for understanding, Brian."
He lets out a quiet chuckle. "Of course, love. You know who would also understand?"
"Don't say Harry."
"Harry."
We both speak at the same time and chuckle afterwards. "That's not a conversation I'm ready to have yet. Maybe in a month or two I can try to give him a call and beg for forgiveness, but not now. I have bigger things to take care of."
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Firewall {One Direction a.u.}
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