In The Mind of a Zulu Wife

Chapter 5

Today is my birthday I am turning 20, I am so excited I can say that I am now an adult adult, I was teen but now I am an adult, its scary but also exciting. I wonder what my man has in store for me.  but honestly I would appreciate any gesture from him. I am going to his apartment right now he said he wanted to spend my birthday with me. 

"Happy 20th birthday." I see big silver and gold balloons as I enter his apartment. I smile as he hands me a bouquet of yellow roses, " I thought you would appreciate these, they come once a year you know?" he says while leaning in for a kiss. I kiss him back. "Oh really now? Is it because you are a Zulu man and Zulu men don't buy flowers because its western?" I ask him jokingly. " I can not deny that, nor agree." He puts his hands up as if he is defeated, as I continue walking in I smell food that is being cooked, and it smells great. Lets just say his cooking is better than mine. we have been together, and I honestly cant lie and say its because of me or anything because I am not a great cook, I do cook and my food tastes okay sometimes. 

" Babe take a shower, as I finish up I know you had a long day standing in line trying to deal with your registration and residence mix up." I nod and head for the shower immediately, as the hot water hit my body. I feel relaxed and I gasp at the pleasure. My feet are sore, this day has been one of the longest days in my life, I had a problem with my registration for my postgrad in Accounting, last year I was informed that I qualified to do the degree at the university and now they want me to do the alternative to the degree which is CTA(Certificate in the Theory of Accounting) it is the equivalent to honors. Thing is I worked hard to qualify for honors I may not have cum laude but the past 2 years I worked hard, I was picked for this and now they change their minds, I wouldn't allow such so I went to the offices and contested this decision I should get a response before the end of this week and I had many other issues which my residence so now I have to move places to a new residence for post graduates.

Okay let me give you a quick update of what's been happening. I am now 20 years old doing my post graduate studies, its been almost 2 years since Siya and I started dating. I have been doing exceptionally well academically I even got an invitation to the international golden key community. I am proud of myself for my achievements, I am a tutor to 1st year and 2nd year students , which means money. He on the other hand is doing his internship on one of the big engineering companies in Africa, and he is killing it, my boyfriend is a genius he has been traveling a lot for the past year, his mom pulled some strings to get him this type of internship so we can not spend a lot of time together and yes his mother still doesn't like me, I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me it does but I can tell it bothers him also that his mom doesn't like me. The last time I saw his family was at that graduation party. Oh I am graduating in 3 months so I am excited I even started planning my outfit for the day and all that and its 3 months away. Our 2 year anniversary is in a month, and I don't know what to buy him I see when the time comes.

So I get out the shower and do all my hygiene, I wear my black leggings and yellow hoodie, I am not a dress up person so this is just fine and at least I put in effort to match the theme. I walk out to find him done and I guess I am not under dressed after all because even he is wearing grey sweats and a black T-shirt. "I thought you were going to dress up and wear make or something to look different I mean its your birthday? NO? I guess not." He says not minding me. My phone rings I want to ignore it but I see its my dad. I know he not calling to say happy birthday because he already did in the morning. So I answer without hesitation. He asks me where I am because they are waiting for me outside my room. Oh no. I tell him I am on my way I got held up on campus. " Siya I have to get to res because my parents are waiting for me to celebrate my birthday with me."

He hasn't met my family just as yet, they don' know I am dating. Thing is in my culture don't introduce a boyfriend to parents until he sends a letter to ask for my hand in marriage by asking for a date for his uncles and father to meet with my uncles and father so they can negotiate for lobola , and he sends(pays) cows as lobola in full that's how introduces himself. So I cant say mom, dad meet my boyfriend. I have to go through that whole process. " Oh worry not, we will continue this tomorrow." He says looking hurt. I cant just blow my parents off like that, such surprises don't occur often in my 20 years they just bought cake for me on my birthday and we ate as family then that's it, its all they could afford so them coming over to celebrate my birthday is one of the greatest gift I could receive from them.

He drives me res while sulking that I wont be spending my day with him. When we get to res we kiss for a good 5 minutes or so, with breaks in between admiring each others features. I get inside the residence and I look around the place I will miss this I cant believe they moved me to a post grad residence after requesting to remain here and after begging they told me they no longer have post grad rooms and my bursary made a plan that I move to a post grad res, which sucks now I have to get to know new people. I walk towards my room and I can hear my family is here they are loud and they seem to have forgotten that this is an academic institution, I know there aren't many students back yet but the ones who are back have already started studying, but who cares anyway they also make noise during normal times of the year.

 I see my dad first and of course my mom by his side, looking into his eyes with a smile. My mom and dad have been together for 26 years, 27 later this year. These people love each other. In front of them the short comedian the last born in the family, she is 16 and she is the smartest person I know, she is cute, a bit chubby, short and funny. They all seem to be laughing at something she said and one person is missing my brother, just then someone tingles me from behind "happy 20th shorty." Of course it is my big brother the tallest person in the family. "Stop tingling her she is a grown woman she is 20 not 5." My mom says. I hug my family to say hi I open the my door and luckily I still have not unpacked my stuff so they cant say its untidy or judge the way I have placed everything. "Why didn't you unpack? I guess you haven't found the time?" my mom asks. I tell them every thing about the res issue, and the honors thing. They brought cake and my mom cooked my favorites and they bought me a laptop this time around and I am so grateful I have been having problems with mine recently and I guess they listened to my hints this time around and I am so grateful this is the biggest gift they bought for me.

This has to be one of the best birthdays in my 2 decades of living. When I was growing up we couldn't afford much, my mom is a domestic worker and dad he runs a small spaza shop. They managed to provide needs for us, I never went to bed hungry because they made sure we had food on the table at all times. I never got everything I wanted, but I always got what I needed ( food, shelter, school supplies or anything related.) So I guess my brother assisted this time around in getting me this gift, he is a mechanic something he learned on his own and he is doing well in that aspect, he is a smart individual who hates school after grade 12 he didn't even bother with going to university even though his grades allowed him. He always said " I cant be the first in everything in this family so this university thing I am leaving it for you and Thandolwethu (the last born). 

Siphosethu(my brother) became a self taught mechanic, He is 24 years old a year older than Siyabulela. He excuses us from the family in my room and we stand outside. "I saw you with that idiot kissing. " He says to me looking at me with a cold look I cant read or figure. I don't know to respond to that. " So this is what you do when you get to university? I thought you promised mom and dad that you will wait till you are 21." I cant figure out if he wants me to answer for myself or he is just saying. " You are with a boy with a car, meaning he is working.  He is older than you? are you dating him because he can support you financially? If so dad and I have failed you, you are supposed to come to us, if you needed something we are here for you, hell I am here for you." He asks and says with disappointment in his eyes. " I understand your concerns, but I am not dating him because of money, or his car, he is older yes by 3 years, I love him, and no you are dad didn't fail me trust me, and yes I did promise mom and dad to wait and I am still waiting till my 21st so you can relax. He is a nice person you should meet him." I say nervously. He breathes out in relief. He smiles. "if you are happy then I guess he doing something right, if he bothers you have my number." He says with a smile.