In The Mind of a Zulu Wife

Chapter 17

The lobola has been paid, and everything is going according to plan, we decided not have a white wedding because its not part of our culture we will do a traditional wedding which is Umabo where I am introduced to his ancestors and family as part of the family and I am welcomed into the family by following their family traditions then we will go to home affairs so we can sign to be married legally this will be done in a month. That's the plan and I am honestly relieved I don't have to do the whole white dress thing. Today I am going to write my final board exam should I pass this I will be left with 11 months to finally complete my articles and qualify as a Chartered Accountant. I am overly prepared if you could ask me, I am ready for this. While I was writing I felt sick a few times it was probably nerves, I spent 8 hours writing from the morning and a few 15 minutes breaks every 3 hours. Torture. I am glad we are done I am now waiting for my fiancé, who promised to be here an hour ago, outside the venue its empty now everyone has left.

I told him I would go home by myself and he promised to fetch me and now where is he? I am so tired I just want to go home, let me uber home. The uber arrives within a few minutes I am grateful for that and the driver is super chatty, I don't like it when the driver is this chatty but I do converse with them there is absolutely no reason to be rude to them. I arrive sooner than I realize, maybe it's because the conversation was flowing. I decided to go his place, that's where we have been spending a lot time lately. His car is here meaning he is inside. I can hear there are two voices arguing back and forth.

"Shut the f*ck up, you are the one who asked me to go with you to China isn't that right?" I hear Siya saying angrily.

"I did, but I didn't ask you to f**k me, you did that willingly." Whoever she is says.

"That was a mistake, we were drunk. That didn't mean s**t to me. Its one of the nights I regret in my life right now." He says now a bit more calmly.

"Even Cape Town was a mistake?" She says now angry.

What? He has been lying to me? How come I didn't notice that? I walk into the living room and the girl is Thandeka that girl that his mother likes for him. He has been lying to me, he looks into my direction and I guess he can tell I overheard them, because he looks guilty, sorry, and a lot more emotions in his eyes. How could he, do I look stupid to him? I am hurt, I can feel the pain in my heart sharp like someone just stabbed me. I walk into his bedroom and heard straight for the shower. I lock the bathroom door. I just want to cry in peace. I open the shower and fix the temperature to lukewarm. I get in with my clothes I start crying, he betrayed me, and I had to find out a month before our wedding day, I would rather not have known. I wish I didn't hear this conversation, why did I have to eavesdrop? I don't know how I will deal with this. I hear him knocking a thousand times, he finally he gives up.

I have been in the shower for over 2 hours, and I am now hungry so I need something to eat. I get the towels and start rinsing myself. And I wear his body lotion because it smells nice and my lotion has been smelling weird and making me nauseous in the past few weeks so I have been using his. As I get out, he is lying on he bed looking at the roof he sits up when he notices I am out. He wants to say something but I stop him. "I don't want to hear your sorry, I am way too hungry to even hear what you want to say so save yourself the effort of trying to apologize. Did your girlfriend leave because I don't want to bump into her." I say calmly but I actually am fuming I just don't feel like exploding yet. He looks confused by my actions so he doesn't say a thing, he walks with me down stairs.

We get to the kitchen. "You want me to make you anything?" He asks concerned. " No thanks I am A okay I will make it myself, I mean I have to get used to cooking for myself only again since I am about to be single again so might as well." I say looking straight in his eyes I want to see him hurt, like I am hurting right now. So saying what I said I knew that wouldn't sit well with him. He looks hurt, that's right. I warm up yesterdays left overs. And I start eating he does the same. And we eat in silence.