Finding Zen (With BTS' JIMIN)

1. It's No Joke

HIM

Every day was exhausting. Scheduling seemed futile because the only thinv they wanted was rest and there wasn't one slot empty for years to come.

Yes he wanted to blow up. They all did. They all do. When they step in. When they want it all so bad. The grind intense and yet they persevered. Hoped they would live their dreams.

At first stark reality never hits the mark for most. Not for them. They almost laughed at their past selves for their ambitious dreams.

Suddenly they were flung into stardom. Going beyond the boundaries of not only their dreams, but that whole field and industry as well.

They definitely deserve the rest and the fans repeatedly scream for it. He had said it in the past that when he was losing weight they said he didn't have to and then when he was happy with himself they loved it too. That's wholly because they love the person as a whole, but that contradiction - which doesn't apply to everyone - doesn't just end there. Their fans live seeing them on stage and they love performing for them, but they do know that their limits have long been passed and they work tirelessly, all the more while tired. The fans despite desperately calling for them to get the R&R (rest and recuperation) they deserve also love to see their hard work.

He knew they motivated him. They breathe for the fans. Yet he couldn't help hoping to find peace - one really deep within - like the sense of weightlessness some peopleget with meditation, sleep, among others.

The way he thought of it was like the first proper breath after battling a stuffy nose. The kind that woke you up to breathe when you just get that long awaited shut-eye.

He thought dancing might help, sometimes a shot too many, but no.

He finally stood up and walked back in through the dorm and plopped on his bed. No more wasting of a free moment with thinking at the window for him.

His roommate walked in all chirpy only to find him fast alseep. He let out a chuckle and ruffled his hair and draped the blanket over his shoulders before tirning off the lights and leaving, making sure to be quiet even as he shut the door behind him.

Hoseok seeked his best friend out. Soon he and Taehyung were deep in a discussion about Jimin suddenly seeming way too weary of things.

Sure he tried to be an energizer and tried to crack in humor, but obviously it wouldn't always go like he hoped.

The way he seemed really shallow seemed to haunt him even in his sleep as he clenched the blanket, tossing about.

Why... I seem like a child... I'm clumsy... I laugh at everything... I want everyone happy... I hare sad things... I like cute aesthetics...

Well sometimes I don't... They say I've grown up the most...

But I haven't really changed that drastically... yes I do have a lot of child-like quirks, but that doesn't mean I'm a shallow person... no I'm not faking that child-like attitude...

I'M NOT TAKING UP A PERSONA!

His eyes shot open and he sat up, kicking the blankets off, cold sweat washing over him as the reality rumbled deep within... again. He groaned, staring at the time on his phone. It had only been half an hour. He couldn't even get a decent hour of sleep in.

He scrolled through his phone like a normal young adult. Looking up on the web to see how people were finding peace.

The number of people there surprised him. He wasn't exactly expecting anything, but in a small corner of his mind was that thought that maybe if he hadn't been a celebrity, things wouldn't have been so bad.

The new reality he had learnt then was that everyone has that craving for perfect peace - zen. Some found it in good things - love, friends, family, books, art, nature, new hobbies and more. There was also music. It made him smile. Even his music and performances had been referenced. He took a screenshot of the reference and put up a new folder in his gallery. "Inspire Me" he typed. He smiled at it once again before continuing his research.

He also saw how some people had even found peace along dark paths and it sent shivers up his spine. He then made a mental note to never go that way. It popped in his head how in that screenshot he had taken the user had mentioned how their words had "turned her path" and he shuddered again wondering what course she had actually been on.

Silently he swore to keep staying a positive influence to people despite it costing him all his self. He was scrolling through the lyrics of some of their tracks - released and unreleased - pretending to be a fan hearing the meanings - direct and implied - deep in their heart. He didn't know that he was smiling until he suddenly stopped humming and reading, turning to spot the source of that low chuckle.

"You're wierd, you know that right?" Tae comments before walking over and giving him a hug. Jimin hugged back after putting his phone aside. "What was that you were reading, huh?" Jimin unlocks his phone and shows him the same screen - Lyrics - "Just trying to see how it makes our fans feel..."

Tae smiled and tussled his hair "That's really sweet... Kinda reminds me of how you used promise to speak..." Jimin smiled. It was true that he had mentioned how much distance had come between him and the fans, intending that the course of his career which brought in more fans caused the division of the attention that each got. He had also made it clear that he still wanted them to shine, from within.

He tackled Tae down and Hoseok shook his head a s he peeped. He kept the others out "Nah... they needed a moment." "Let's just hope they make it out in time for dinner because we have to go to the company after that." Yoongi stated to which they all gave a small nod. The hours were surely unending and it was pretty obvious that they all needed rest.