Finding Zen (With BTS' JIMIN)

7. Lost It - Peace and Piece

HER

Zen sat back in a lounge chair, mask pulled up and her shades on as she typed out an extremely long and detailed journal entry for the whole day - obviously highlighting only this part of what should have been just another uneventful day for her. She hadn't written in a while owing to how busy things had been, but the fact that she met her faves wasn't the only thought in her head.

Those fans there would have seen what happened... I'm probably going to end up on their pictures and clips...

And also on their bad books... they could be really jealous...

But unexpectedly... I don't feel like I'm at peace... I used to tell myself I'd somehow see them in person once before I die...

I actually got quite a while... but no... I... don't want to let go...

It might have been better normal for him to behave really sweet and even a tad flirty... but it isn't just that...

I want to meet them again... at least him...

Not just see...

My broke ass can't afford it though... no merch even, forget a concert ticket with all flight and stay costs... fansigns are even more unimaginable...

Gosh... When I told myself I would see them once to calm my soul... once... like even if it was their last ever appearance...

Here I am wanting it to not stop...

Once doesn't just feel like enough...

He probably is like this all the time...

He has possibly just forgotten this and moved on...

What if I scared him... like... I'm a living mess...

Oh gosh...

I might have just lost my piece...

Sighing she realized that she had also ended up typing all her not so happy thoughts out. She sighed heavily as her first boarding call echoed around. She added one more sentence before putting her phone back in her pocket and walking to her mentioned gate.

After snuggling into her seat, she pulled out her phone to text her mother, smiling at how worried she would get if there hadn't been any responses. "Time Zones..." she said as she left an update before turning on flight mode.

She chose to re-read her notes. She did just that, loud and clear in her head.

"They, my piece givers, were the last few pieces to my puzzle of peace...
He was the very last, Park Jimin... I thought fitting it in was the end...
The end I needed... though I don't think I deserve it or anything that trasured and priceless...
And for a moment I felt it... the satisfaction from putting the last puzzle piece in...
But though all the seven last pieces were hard to fit since they were loose and slipped out...
His was worse... it was the kind that made and yet also broke everything...
Fit in so perfectly... yet wasn't one of those that fit in tight...
It all fell in place right to the moment that piece fell out...
If you thought finally fitting the last piece was enough to give you peace... you are wrong... it only gets even more frustrating as it falls back out...
In the end... it gives the very opposite...