Finding Zen (With BTS' JIMIN)

2. There's Always More

HIM

An hour later Jin called everyone for dinner and Hoseok ran to find the youngsters. After unplugging Jungkook from the game and dragging the whining youngster to the table he knocked on the door to the room he shared with Jimin.

It was so quiet on the other side that he walked in only to find the two asleep. He hated having to wake them up, but he also knew that he had to. They had to eat before they went to the company to check the audio and then report at the airport in the wee hours of the morning to fly out for filming their next MV. It was sure going to be a long day.

Yeontan slipped between his legs and ran in. Hoseok found it adorable and inside was secretly glad he wouldn't have to wake them himself. Tan's barks stirred Tae frist and soon Jimin was squinting too. Hoseok let out a fast whisper "The others are all here for dinner~" and slipped out to join them and help set all the food up on the table.

The dinner went on as always. The jokes, the teases, the compliments. All amidst the work that was in the back of their minds.

After they finished and cleared up. They all went to take a quick shower and get dressed before grudgingly carrying their stuff out and into the car that had been sent to pick them up.

After a few hours with the producers and playing the song on loop, they felt like they were ready to film and so they collected their stuff and piled into the vans heading to the airport.

It was no surprise. There were people. The sun hadn't risen, but there were their staff and the airport staff, but of course the press and the fans had managed to assemble. The screams, the greetings the flashes.

Masks and shades on they assemble together and bow. They were extremely polite even though it was deep down getting on their nerves.

Jimin pulled thehood of his jacket over his head as they walked in, the people immediately moving closer seeming to suffocate him further. He waited for the moment they would get checked and allowed in just to breathe.

By the time they were in he was ready to explode inside because of how intrusive it was.

Tae mumbled "I feel bad... the fans want to see us... the press get paid for these... I smile because I'm glad they care, but I still want space..." Jimin could only nod. He was feeling it too. He loved being there for the fans, but he didn't like the extent people go to. "Not everyone is like them, cheer up!" Their managers were keeping them positive as they boarder. They knew it too. Not everyone was so intrusive. Some fans were so extremely polite they actually felt like giving them a little extra special treatment.

After their things had been put in place they all settled in their seats, neckpillows on, eye blinds in hand, feet up and ready to snooze.

Jimin took a selfie, posting it immediately to an ocean of likes, replies and retweets, before settling into a comfortable pose, ready to sleep. The sweetheart he was, he wished everyone goodnight first, photo bombed Tae's goofy selca and sank into his seat giggling as he pulled his eye blinds on and snuggled into the blankets, hugging a cushion.

They all feel it too... but they handle it so well...while I question my existence here...

Is it this bad even for people who aren't famous? Do they ever regret some things so bad?

There's both sides... I'm naturally nice, but never knew I would have to live with literally no personal space...

It was getting darker in his head, but the calls for food jolted him awake. Stretching like a cat, he undid his blinds, squinting to look out of the window at the sky that didn't seem to be getting bright at all considering that they were literally going back in time, travelling against time zones and back over and to a place where it was still pretty much dawn while it was nearly noon back in Korea.

It was a striking revelation. He left at dawn; it is dawn at every place they're passing by; the place they would land at would be in dawn too.

He hummed in thought as he ate. He would miss Korean food for a while now and so he tried to cherish what he was chewing down, but his mind wasn't in it completely. The thoughts of having a means to calm down were consuming him. He silently hoped it would go unnoticed and that the work would distract him from these thoughts.

Tae and Hoseok knew something was up but didn't know how to get him to open up, but they had discussed a few ideas last evening. Tae couldn't help but slip in the seat beside Jimin's after their meals "Hey? Mind if I?" "Not at all~" Jimin's smile and normal seeming side came up this time.

Tae was surprised and unsure when to dig deeper he just lay on Jimin's shoulder. Jimin ruffled his hair "Taehyungie... what were you going to ask me?"

Tae was caught off guard. He had been planning an approach to it, but his best friend saw through just like he could see through him too.

"Just... you get lost in thought often... and I want to help..." he spoke in a whisper and thatast sentence came out even quieter than the rest.

Jimin knew that it would be hard to hide it, but he never thought it was so obvious already. He sighed amd leaned in closer to Tae "I don't feel... at peace... I love what I do... I love how we make the fans feel... no it's not the hate... I just feel like if I were genuine... I'm a deeper person than the fans see... and all these schedules and privacy intrusion... I want somewhere to escape to..."

He had blurted it out and it surprised Tae. He hugged him back, happy that his best friend trusted him enough to let the weight out even on his sudden request. Tae hugged him "I understand how you feel... I'm sorry if I didn't seem to help this far too... Kookie has his games, Jin hyung cooks, Yoongi hyung makes music, cooks or naps, Joonie hyung takes trips in nature, makes music and checks out exhibitions, Hobi hyung is in the studio with music or the choreography and even me, I do photography and visit exhibitions and all that..." Jimin gives him a nod, a small smile on his lips, happy for the others and his fans - on one side he actually was ready to give himself up if that would make everyone happy, but on his journey to self love he also wanted to give himself the care that fans have been trying to give him influence for from afar.

Tae whispered "hyung... this might not be helpful... but till you find the right thing... I'll be here... Hobi hyung and I were talking about this last evening... we're worried for you... we'll be here... let's start with that?"

Jimin nods, smile brighter now "Thank you... for not only noticing, but for also trying so many ways to help..."

They stayed in these seats, engaged in small talk, momentarily interrupted by the flashing seatbelt sign, but going back to it immediately till they were to hop off and get right to filming.

Everyone was up, masks and shades on, as soon as their managers had told them their transport was set, but at the VIP exit instead since quite a crowd had gathered at the normal exit point.