This Time

Chapter 37

***1 week after***

"I miss you" Marga said while looking at Zander's happy face sa picture frame. "...so much."

It's been a week since Zander's sudden death. Everyone was shocked. His death was also reported in the Philippines and at Korea. Everyone was mourning for the passing of the young man inside and outside the country. Their company also shuts down it's services worldwide as a sign of grief to his passing.

Everyone in the area has been changed since his death. The once noisy and happy place has been a silent and despairing ever since. Even the workers are affected by this. But the one who is in real deep grief is the one who has been loving him ever since.

It was hard for her, but there is nothing she can do.

Zander's remains are cremated and is kept inside the closed building and only special family members are allowed to visit it.

"Tara na, Dad." Zander's Mom said while pointing at a wheelchair.

"Nasaan si Marga?" his Lolo said. Yes, Zander's grandfather is home after decades of hiding from the dark past he had here in the Philippines.

Tinawag ng mga tauhan ng Lolo n'ya si Marga at agad naman itong lumapit. Mr. Ahn commanded everyone to leave the lobby except for the two of them.

Ngayon ay silang dalawa nalang ang laman lobby at hindi naman alam ni Marga ang gagawin n'ya dahil hindi sa gantong sitwasyon n'ya inaakala na makikilala n'ya ang Lolo ni Zander.

Parehas silang tahimik at nakatingin lang sa lalagyan ng mga abo ni Zander na pinaliligiran ng mga bulaklak.

Nagulat naman si Marga ng marinig na humihikbi ang kilalang may-ari ng kompanya. She reached out at the elder and offered a wipe of tissue but he ignored it.

"Kung hindi sana ako naging matigas sa apo ko, hindi siguro 'to mangyayari." he mumbled. Nagulat naman si Marga sa sinabi ng matanda. Hindi na sumagot si Marga at imbis ay nakinig nalang sa sintemyento ng Lolo ni Zander.

"I was too selfish to not think of his happiness. If only I sent him earlier baka mas matagal pa kayong nagkasama. Siguro hindi n'yo kinailangan maghintay ng maraming taon, siguro hindi n'yo nasaktan ang isa't isa. Siguro, buhay pa ngayon ang apo ko." His tears fell and so as Marga, hindi n'ya magawang magpigil ng luha lalo na sa sitwasyon n'ya ngayon, halos matuyo na nga ata ang katawan n'ya kakaiyak noong mga nakaraang linggo.

"I was too selfish to think na baka mangyari sa apo ko ang nangyari sa akin noon dito."

Nagpintig ang tenga ni Marga. She let the elder continue while her ears are attentively listening.

"I got hurt at inakala ko na sasaktan mo lang din ang apo ko kaya pinilit ko s'yang ilayo sayo, tulad ng ginawa sakin ng Lola n'ya."

"I see myself at my apo kaya I only want the best for him, but I did him wrong, I ruined him. I ruined him up to the point na nawalan na s'ya ng direksyon sa buhay. Walang ginawa si Zander kung hindi makipag basagan ng mukha sa Korea noong una ko s'yang binalik doon. Walang gabi na hindi uuwi si Zander ng walang may gasgas sa katawan at pasa sa mukha. And everytime he's asleep, pangalan mo ang binibugkas n'ya." the elder wiped his tears as he tells the story of Zander's struggles which she already knew about, pero iba pala ang pakiramdam noong mismong Lolo na n'ya ang nagku-kwento.

"Years passed and he became better, hindi na nakikipagaway si Zander. But just as I thought, I really didn't do anything good for him. I thought he already moved on about you but... he just became cold as ice and hard as stone, I've lost the happy, sweetheart Zander I know."

"Kaya kahit ayoko, ibinalik ko si Zander dito sa Pilipinas pansamantala para ibalik s'ya sa dati, pero as expected, I failed at him again. I was late to realize na this is where his heart belongs, and that is you Marga." umagos na ang luha ng matanda at si Marga naman ay patuloy na humihikbi. Nakadungaw ang mga tao sa labas ng nga kwarto binabasa kung ano ang nangyayari.

"That painting hanging on the wall, was originally a sketch of the love of my life. But when she died, my heart broke and I don't want to leave any traces of her anymore in my life that's why I turned the sketch into an abstract painting."

"I noticed how Zander is interested with the painting ever since he was a child, he even told me that he will give this painting to the love of his life but I told him not to because of it's sad past. But tables have turned at nandito nanaman ako sa sitwasyon na 'to." inabot ni Marga ang balikat ng matanda para pakalmahin ito mula sa pag-iyak.

"I'm so sorry apo, I'm so sorry Marga. This is all my fault." giit ng matanda. Lumuhod si Marga sa gilid nito at inabot ang kamay nito.

"No Lolo, wala pong may kasalanan nito. It's an accident and I'm sure Zander will not like it kung sisisihin n'yo ang sarili n'yo." pinagaan ni Marga ang loob ng Loko ni Marga dahil natatakot ito na baka nay masama pang mangyari dito.

Agad namang pinuntahan ng mga tauhan nila ang Lolo ni Zander at inilayo na ito sa labi ni Zander.

"Marga, I need to show you something." si Isaac habang pinapasunod si Marga sa labas sa kanya. Marga followed and Isaac brought him to a kept place sa loob ng premises ng kompanya. Sa tagal ng pagtatrabaho n'ya dito ngayon lang n'ya nakita ang lugar.

It's like a greenhouse where the rest of the house is made of glass and decorated with flowers.

"Dito sana balak mag propose ni Zander sayo." napalingon s'ya sa sinabi ng binata. Propose?!

"Yeah, remember the last time I told you that he will tell you something, ito 'yun. He's planning to propose to you as soon as possible dahil nga sa sakit n'ya." wait sakit? so may sakit na talaga si Zander dati pa at wala manlang nakaisip na sabihin ito sa kanya?!

"Wait, Isaac. Hindi ko gets. Anong as soon as possible dahil nga sa sakit n'ya?!" she said. Gusto n'yang magalit pero puro luha lang ang inilalabas n'ya.

"Marga, huli ko nalang din nalaman. Nung nasa vacation pa kayo, Tita Celeste told me about it kase I was feeling something wrong kay Zander. I thought you already know about it kaya hindi na ako na bother na sabihin pa sayo. It turns out pala na tinatago pala 'to ni Zander."

"I was scared to tell you the truth dahil it's not my story to tell and Zander promised me to tell you about this bago pa kayo umuwi pabalik ng Manila pero shit happened... I'm sorry Marga." nanlambot ang mga tuhod n'ya at kaya napaluhod nalang s'ya sa lupa. She's imagining every scene they could've made sa lugar na 'to kung sakaling buhay parin si Zander. The dances they will share, the songs they would sing, and the moments they will cherish. Pero hindi sumasangayon ang universe sa kanilang dalawa.

It's still hard for her to believe na wala na nga ang taong mahal n'ya. Minsan iniisip n'ya na sana isang panaginip lang ito at magising na s'ya sa bisig ni Zander.

Pero ito ang reyalidad at kailangan n'ya ito harapin. Inalalayan ni Isaac si Marga na tumayo at inabot nito ang isang maliit na kahon.

Laman ang singsing sana na isusuot ni Zander kay Marga, ngunit hindi na pwede.

Singsing na magbubuklod sana sa kanilang dalawa.

Lalong tumindi ang pag-iyak ni Marga at wala namang magawa si Isaac tungkol dito. Seeing the ring brings her pain, na sana si Zander mismo ang magsusuot nito sa kanya. Na sana magkasama parin sila ngayon. Na sana buhay pa si Zander ngayon.

Napakaraming sana, na mananatiling mga sana nalamang.