-warning-
the f-slur
Yeosang
I've been sitting on a train for a few hours on my way to the family gathering in my hometown, Pohang. I am nervous, there is no way to deny that. I am only going so that Jaejoong leaves me alone. When the train stops I get off and quickly catch the correct bus to take me to the right place.
I step on the porch of my childhood hellhole. With shaking hands I ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open it. After a few seconds a familiar face opens the door. "Sangie! You actually came!" Jaejoong says with a sickly sweet fake smile. I don't say anything and just walk inside to be greeted with faces I haven seen in years. I anxiously fiddle with my thumbs.
Jaejoong wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Smile a little, yeah?" He whispers starting to drag me to the kitchen. In the kitchen I'm met with the people who threw me out of this house. I swallow nervously and put a smile onto my face. "Mom, Dad! Guess who arrived~" Jaejoong exclaims. The two adults turn to look at us. "Oh my god. Yeosang! It's been so long." My mother exclaims with a bright smile on her face. The woman wraps her arms around me. "Act normal, will you? I can't have you fucking this up too." she whispers angrily. I nod swiftly and hug her back. "Good to see you, Mom.. Sorry for not visiting. I've been quite busy with work.." I say as normally and softly as I can.
After hugging my mother I turn to my father and bow a little. He smiles fakely at me. "Good to see you again, son." He says. "Yeah... You too.."
I'm conversing with my relatives a bit. I have not seen most of these people in almost five years and I feel awkward as hell. "Have you got a girlfriend yet, Yeosang?" My aunt's husband asks me. I smile a little. "No.. Not yet.." I say. My aunt looks me up and down. "A boyfriend then?" She inquires. My eyes widen a little. "Wha.. Of course not..!" I say, a little panicked. "I'm just kidding, Sweetie." She giggles. I smile a little, trying to calm myself. "Haha.. Of course..".
I excuse myself and walk away. I walk to my old room and hide inside. I press my back against the door. "Breathe, Yeosang.. Breathe.." I mumble to myself. I rub my face a bit. "I shouldn't have come.." I mutter. After a minute or two someone knocks on the door. I hesitate to move from in front of it, but eventually do it.
I hate this. I fucking hate this.
