Endgame Romanogers Fanfic

Chapter 27

Clint: Did you come here to get revenge at last?

Natasha frowned slightly at the question.

Natasha: I never intended that... even tho because my son is alive and well.

Clint went silent and Natasha moved closer to him.

Natasha: He sleeps in the crib you made for him. Every day, but not every night.

Clint looked at Natasha.

Natasha: Sometimes he just wants to sleep in my bed, with Steve and me.

Natasha commented and Clint followed in silence, she just wanted to break the tense atmosphere between them, make him understand that there are no hurts and resentments, nor demands.

Natasha: Usually when he or me spend the night out, he sleeps in our bed, so tonight I'm sure he will sleep with his father.

Natasha followed.

Natasha: I don't like being away from him. Especially at night. I never stayed more than two nights away and when I come back, it seems like I lost years of his life.

Natasha sighed.

Natasha: He manages to be hurt and upset by some small things, he has Steve's way of dealing things. He's very calm, tho but also very smart... he learns new things every day. Silly things that kids really have to learn but I'm so sorry when I'm not around to see that moment.

Natasha noticed that the conversation has already had an effect on Clint, who was previously aggressive and on the defensive, she broke the ice, he is more relaxed now.

Natasha: Every second is so precious.

Clint: I know how it is.

Natasha: Yes, you know. You went through that like 3 times. Cooper... Lila... Nathaniel...

Natasha almost whispered and realized that Clint dismounted when he heard the names of his children, he lowered his head.

Natasha felt a pain in her heart when she saw Clint's suffering look, because now she can put herself in his shoes and imagine what it's like to lose a child. It would be unbearable for her to lose James, and it is being unbearable for Clint to have lost three children. It is a lot of pain, a lot of mourning, a lot of anger and she left her friend alone facing this pain for a long time. She shouldn't have done that and she regrets it very much.

Natasha took Clint's hand.

Natasha: It isn't fair, Clint.

Clint took Natasha's hand and took a deep breath, holding back the tears.

Natasha: They were very young and very special. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I was hurt but right after James was born, I was embarrassed. You would never hurt me...