Social Order

Part 43

Sean cringed at Mark's touch, pushing his arm off his waist. He didn't want to be touched. Pulling from Mark, he huddled into the corner of the elevator, mumbling out over his shoulder. "There is no way to fix this... Everyone saw it. I... Fuck..." Sean leaned into the wall, sliding down to the floor as he covered his face and broke down into tears. He couldn't keep them to himself. Mark stayed in the center of elevator, telling him in a cool voice. "No one is going to judge you over what happened." Sean dropped his hand, yelling as his anger began to boil between his tears. "BULLSHITE! They already judge me! Now... all they'll see is that scared man who let them..." Sean drifted off to cry. The elevator dinged and opened to the garage, but Sean didn't have the heart to move. He just wanted to vanish in the corner. Mark moved to take his arm, helping him up with a strong arm. Sean staggered to his feet, before yanking his arm from him. Stumbling out of the elevator and away from Mark, Sean snapped back bitterly. "Don't touch me! This is all your fault!"

Sean staggered to his knees in the garage, crying out in a broken voice. "I can't... I should have..." Sean laid across the hard floor, crying into his arm and secretly hoping someone would run him over. He heard soft footsteps, before Mark told him in a deep loving voice. "Sean... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. There is nothing I can do that will make you feel better... But this wasn't your fault. What happened to you wasn't your fault. Things happen that we can't control. Whatever they say... Whatever happens... I am on your side. I will not take this laying down. I'm going to fix this." Sean lifted his head, glaring at Mark as he snapped back. "It's easy for you to say! All of Valhalla didn't just see you get raped on live TV! I've never been so ashamed... All I had was my reputation and they all saw me... weak. They're gonna say I deserved it! That I probably asked for it! Why not, right? I'm gutter trash!" Sean laid his head back down on his arm, crying as he whimpered out. "Maybe I did... Parts of me enjoyed it... Maybe I belong there..."

Mark's hand touch his neck, causing Sean to flinch and cringe away from his touch. Mark put his hand on him though, petting him comfortingly as he told him in firm commanding voice. "Sean. This wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do." Sean jerked up, yelling out through tears. "Is it?! I should have fought harder! I should have chosen death!" Sean bowed his head, crying as he inhaled a shaky breath and added softly. "I can feel the filth beneath my skin... I didn't want it and at the same time... I can't... I couldn't..." Sean covered his face, crying harder as the shame burned over his skin like acid. Mark grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up against his chest. Hugging him to his chest, Mark whispered to him in a warm voice. "Sean... There was nothing more you could have done. I've never seen anyone fight as hard as you. You're the strongest and bravest person that I know." Sean shook in Mark's arms, lowering his hands from his face to mumble out against his chest. "You don't know many people... it doesn't count."

Mark brushed his lips over his temple lovingly, purring out in a deep warm buttery voice. "That's because they aren't like you." Mark kissed his temple so tenderly that Sean's body relaxed a little from the comfort. Mark's lips drifted down to his ear to whisper just for him to hear. "Sean, let me shelter you from them. You have nothing to be ashamed of... and I'm going to make sure the world knows it." Sean shook his head, saying in a wispy voice. "You don't understand... I'm branded for life. These names may fade... but you can't change how I feel beneath my own skin. You can choose to ignore what I am... but they'll never see me as anything but the fowl thing that crawled out of the Slums to dirty their golden streets..." Mark stood up, pulling him up carefully. Walking him over to a motorcycle, Mark told him seriously. "I want to show you something." Mark swung onto the bike, patting the seat in front of him. Sean inched closer, mumbling out weakly. "Where is your car?" Mark gave him a small smile, telling him sweetly. "This got me to you faster."