Remember Me This Way

Chapter Fifteen

"YOOT! A day off!" Nick cheered as he and AJ got into a rental car. They were back on tour, making their way across Europe over the past couple weeks. Nick had been trying to find a way to tell him and Howie just what was going on. The first thing they'd noticed, was that Nick and Brian seemed to be okay again. Like Brian predicted, they knew he knew now.

"What is yoot?"

"A combo deal of yay and woot." Nick replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And the only word able to show my joy from an actual day off."

"Okay then...heh, we better enjoy it."

"Definitely."

Because of this, Nick knew he'd have to tell them soon. He couldn't handle the idea of telling them both at the same time however. Instead, he decided today would be a day to bond with the second youngest member of the group, and a chance to tell him. The relationship he had with AJ had always been a complicated one. They'd been the two who didn't really know life without fame, they'd never been given a chance to know, given the age they were when they started performing. And then when the group formed, Nick had been only twelve, AJ had been fourteen. Hardly old enough to know how life worked outside of fame, and to know how to live with it without being sucked in and destroyed by it.

It had been for this reason; they'd been the two who struggled with it all. The reason why they'd bonded over their late night outings, the drugs, and the alcohol. It'd been why Nick had been the most shaken up when AJ went into rehab. Not to mention why Nick continued to struggle with it and unable to learn from watching AJ alone, thinking he was different, he was okay, because this was what he knew and he could handle it. When both of them had finally cleaned up their acts, it would still feel weird from time to time, hanging out with just each other. Because when they had been so young, that had been their link. Sure, these days they had more, but everything still went back to that. So as always, it rose to the forefront of Nick's mind.

But because of their history, Nick felt AJ would be the one who never suspected drugs. Perhaps alcohol, but not drugs. And even the alcohol not to extent of what had been Brian's suspected before he learned the truth. AJ knew the signs better than anyone, and while Nick had been acting suspicious, it wasn't suspicious in relation to that.

"Nick?" AJ called, snapping him back to attention as they drove down the roads of Berlin. They had a show tomorrow and wouldn't have another day off for a good two weeks, so this outing had to count. He refused to tell them when they had a show the same night. No need to affect the performance.

"Sorry, I'm here."

A smirk emerged on his friend's face. "You sure? You've been damn out of it lately. You've become more of a space cadet than Lance Bass."

"I'm alright. Just tired from touring."

AJ gave him a look. Nothing like one Kevin could give, but it clearly expressed the who do you think you're kidding thought that was running through his mind. "Alright then." But that was the thing about him, normally, he'd let it go. He'd make it clear he thought something wasn't right, but without getting too aggressive about it, unlike Brian, Kevin, and Howie who got forceful each and every time. It was refreshing in a sense, but it also made him feel guilty.

"So where do you wanna go?"

AJ shrugged. "No idea, this was your brilliant plan remember?"

Nick glanced out the window, looking for ideas. Then, something came into view, something he hadn't done in some time. He grinned. "How's an amusement park sound? I can't bring Brian ever cause he still can't handle rollercoasters." It was true, while both he and Brian had a deathly fear of heights; Nick's didn't go as far as rides. Brian's did. He couldn't explain really why rides were the exception to the rule for him, they just were. He always attributed it to the fact he was at least strapped down on a ride, giving a sense of safety.