Remember Me This Way

Chapter Twenty Nine

Dramatic music began to play. The camera panned around a small enclosed area, the walls nothing but red curtain. It passed over Nick after hovering for only moments on him. Finally, it settled upon the middle aged red headed woman holding the microphone with a professional smile. Nick fidgeted as he observed her. It had only been an hour since the VMAs had ended, and all he wanted right then was to go sleep. He felt drained.

"Hello this is MTV News...I'm Sue Tenney here with a special bulletin."

It felt so surreal, being there, about to be interviewed. Finally, there was nothing left for him to hide. Despite the media frenzy that was already there, the attention that was only going to get worse, it felt so liberating to have it off his chest completely. He glanced around, unable to keep himself still. It was something he'd never been able to do during interviews. This time it was worse than usual. He caught sight of AJ and Kevin waiting next to the cameraman filming them. Brian and Howie had gone off to give statements to the press so that Nick would be hounded less.

"I have here with me..." He tuned back into reality, hearing her voice. "Nick Carter, of the Backstreet Boys..." He watched her approach where he was sitting, and sat herself down across from him.

"Hey Sue."

"Hello Nick, thank you for being here." She made it sound as if he volunteered. Really, this had been the stipulation Jenn had agreed to, so that Nick could make the statement at the VMAs. Nick had to give MTV the first interview before anyone else. Nick only prayed he didn't botch it up. So far, he'd been doing so well. The night was feeling long enough as it was without any mistakes adding to it.

"Now Nick, you made quite the stir tonight...can you tell us once again, what you said at the end of the show?"

He licked his lips and leaned back. "I've been diagnosed with the beginnings with Early-Onset Alzheimer's Disease." It was weird, how it never got any easier to say it, no matter how many times he'd had to. "Basically...um...my memory's starting to go. One day, I'll be to...um...to the point where I won't remember anything at all." A pause. "Um...it's what President Regan had."

Sue nodded, appearing interested it. He wondered if she actually was. Somehow, he doubted it. "When did you learn you had this terrible disease?"

"June...I forget the day...but, yeah, June 2015."

"So over a year ago."

"Yes."

"What caused you to find out?"

Nick bit his lip. "When we, the Backstreet Boys, I um, mean...did a performance for our previous album, Phoenix, at the Early show, and I don't know if anyone really caught it... but I forgot the lyrics. I'd never done that before. Brian covered it up, but I knew then something wasn't right, and I got myself checked out soon after...and learned it was, well ya know."

"Why the secrecy once you learned about it?"

"There...there were things I wanted to do, to finish." He ran his hands through his hair. "I couldn't do them if people knew." He looked directly at the camera then, his eyes focused, passionate, and determined. "I love what I do. I love my fans, and I wanted to...to give them everything I could. I wanted to give back to the world with my new non-profit, living free. I wanted to really give my all, while I could still do it."

"You still appear to have it pretty together Nick-"

"Thank you."

"Why tell us now then?"

Nick sighed, looking agitated as his fingers tapped repeatedly against his legs. He didn't answer. Instead, he simply gazed away with a glazed look within his eyes. Silence settled between them awkwardly till the interviewer touched his leg gently.