Remember Me This Way

Chapter Twenty Four

The waves crashed gently on the shore, the dawn was just beginning to break over the horizon. It cast a rosy hue upon the sky, making the ocean look darker. It was beautiful, and it was peaceful. He sat upon the sand, not caring much if it got all over. Part of him wanted to surf then. But he was afraid to, what if something happened? What if he was on his board and suddenly forgot how he got there? It would cause him to fall, possibly hit his head with the board. He could drown.

Few people were on the beach so early in the morning. Just the hard core surfers. And even then, he figured most people would assume he was in Malibu, rather than Huntington Beach. He didn't feel like dealing with fans, just wasn't up to acting like everything was fine. He didn't want to make jokes, he didn't want to pretend. That was why he was keeping away from the fellas that morning, despite how he hated being alone. If he was around them, he knew, he'd have to pretend that everything was alright.

He'd called Angel after Jen left; she said she'd meet him there that morning. She loved the ocean almost as much as he did. She didn't see anything odd about meeting at the beach so early in the morning. If nothing else, he knew he never had to worry about her. She was the sole member of the Carters who seemed to have gotten her life in a good place. No bitterness, no regrets.

Nick knew he'd have to call Brian later, meet him at the airport when he flew in that night. That was another call from last night, agreeing that he would need the help his best friend would give tagging along on his little promotional travels. He wondered when Jen would break the news to Universal. When would they call him, trying to get him to sign the rights over to them for control of all the unreleased material?

Not that it mattered.

He'd call Howie, and have him go to the lawyers with him, and settle everything. The living will, the rights to all his creative property, what'll happen to him when he can't take care of himself anymore. One day soon, he'd have to tell the rest of his family. And then deal with them the moment the living will was read, because his first request would be that it was read while he was still within a sound frame of mind. They wouldn't like what he had to say, but it had to be done. And like it or not, his so called family, would just have to deal with it. And Angel, Nick just felt bad for leaving her to deal with them alone. He felt as if he was abandoning her.

He felt as if he was abandoning everyone he cared about, and it killed him.

"Nick!" His younger sister called out, causing him to jerk a bit. He turned with a smile, and stood. Brushing the sand off himself, he walked slowly over. If anything, Nick wanted to delay this moment as long as he could. Spend the day bonding with her; enjoy himself, before unloading the burden on her.

"Hey you! I haven't seen you since New Year's." She eyed him playfully as a mild breeze blew her dark strands around her face. Angel hugged him tightly, causing him to genuinely smile, rather than the fake one he'd worn more often that he'd have liked to lately.

He shrugged. "Been touring, and after that disaster..."

The two began their stroll down the beach, both of them were barefoot. "I'm sorry they acted that way."

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault."

"Feels like it. I don't know why they do this to you."

Nick sighed, pausing to stare out at the water. "Because mom and dad did it. So now, they think its okay. Not consciously but ya know, subconsciously. That's what my therapist says anyway. Makes sense I guess."

She frowned. "You're seeing a therapist again?"

Shit. He didn't mean to say that. "Um, yeah, Kevin thought it might help."