Remember Me This Way

Chapter Four

His hands were shaking.

Nick never liked doctors, and the fact he'd been forced to see more after his brush with heart problems years before just made it worse. The fact he hated them so much caused him to put it off for over a week since the Early Show performance. He'd known he couldn't put it off forever, that something was in fact wrong. Still, he'd tried to ignore it.

Finding his wallet in the dishwasher however, unnerved him a bit.

Maybe he was overreacting; maybe it was just drunken stupidity and a lack of sleep causing all this. In fact, Nick was hoping it was. Still, he knew he had to get himself checked out. If nothing else, his heart scare back in 2008 had taught him that. So as he took a long sip of coffee in the kitchen, he tried to steady his hands, calm himself, and keep the coffee from spilling on the floor. He'd avoided the Boys outside of promotional performances, happy to be in LA for once. It was easier to keep away from them here. He needed to keep this on the down low, and he knew the perfect place to go.

He glanced at the clock on the wall; it was 10:15 in the morning. His appointment was closer to noon. The office he was planning to go to was downtown, hidden away as a private practice. It appealed because it was a decent sized practice and had all the facilities, but overall went unnoticed. It was the same place he'd gone when he was feeling chest pains. He just hoped he could sneak in again without being caught by any form of the media.

He set down his empty coffee mug in the sink, sighing. He grabbed his keys and debated on grabbing a coat. Deciding it was getting too warm for it, he walked out and down to this car. As he got in and began to drive out of his condominium complex, a feeling of trepidation filled him.

Nick knew that somehow, whatever happened today, he wasn't going to like it.

****

His feet were tapping.

He never had the ability to keep himself still, however nerves always made that problem ten times worse. He couldn't stop moving as he sat in the waiting room, waiting endlessly for his name to be called. Nick kept his shades on, the Celtics cap he wore tucked low upon his brow. As long as no one recognized him, he'd be okay. As long as the doctor told him he'd just been overreacting, he'd be alright. His nerves until then were shot and would remain as such.

He wondered if he should've told Brian.

'No' He decided firmly. 'Brian's bad enough as it is, and this will just make that worse, even if it is just nothing. Which it will be. It will be.'

But if it wasn't?

"Mr. Carter?" A young nurse stepped out to greet him. She had strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, and an impish smile meant to comfort him as they walked down the hall. If this had been any other situation, Nick would've been flirting within moments. As it was, random pick up lines were floating through his head that his brain fought to ignore.

'Focus...don't worry, you can hit on her on your way out of here and you know you just overreacted. Note to self: Thank Kevin for raising me to get paranoid.'

The thought of Kevin made Nick suddenly want to call him as he walked into the examination room. The man had always been more like his father in terms of who taught him the good lessons life had to offer. When his parents neglected him to try and sell his siblings to the spotlight as well, Kevin had stepped in, taking Nick under his wing. Nick knew he hadn't come out perfect, but he also knew he'd be a lot worse off if it hadn't been for "big brother". Kevin was currently doing a stint in "Rent" on Broadway at the moment. Right then, he missed him terribly.

He sat on the table, as the nurse shot him another pretty smile. "Dr. Hansen will be with you shortly, he's just finishing up with another patient." Nick contently watched her firm butt shimmy as she walked smoothly out the door. He glanced at his watch, almost one.