Remember Me This Way

Chapter Thirty Nine

"Brian...we can't keep him forever."

Brian walked towards the entryway to the living room. Nick was watching TV, or he hoped so anyway. He seemed more to be staring at it in a bit of a daze. But he wanted to be optimistic about things. He'd meant what he'd told AJ two weeks ago on Thanksgiving; parts of Nick were still alive. As long as that was true, as long as Nick wasn't an empty, memory-less shell, Brian wasn't ready, nor willing, to give him up.

He knew what the others were saying. After the last talk they'd had about it, he'd seen the looks they passed to each other when they thought Brian wasn't paying attention. They thought he was tricking himself into thinking Nick could be healed. Brian knew better, he knew Nick was beyond that. He prayed nightly for his friend, even if it was to no avail. But he was realistic enough to know that only a miracle could bring back the Nick he knew completely. At the same time, he knew that person wasn't gone yet either.

And until he was, Brian wasn't going to let him go.

"I know..."

"Maybe Kevin's right, and it's time we start looking for a place for him to go."

"No."

"Brian..."

"I said no. I know that it's getting worse."

"We can't give him everything he needs."

"No. We can right now. I know it has to happen, but not yet. He's not ready."

Leighanne touched his shoulder, turning him back towards her. He looked deeply into the warm blue eyes of the woman he'd loved for so long. That fateful day on the video shoot for As Long As You Love Me. It had changed his life, as did she. She supported him in everything, always there when he needed her to be. She didn't even question Brian when he had told her they should stay out in Los Angeles to help Nick. Or when he asked if Nick could live with them, unable to live alone, yet not ready for an adult care center. He was deteriorating quicker than anyone expected, even the doctors. Yet, there were so many moments where the real Nick, the kid he'd known for so long, rose to the surface. Nick was still in there, somewhere.

"He's not...or you're not?"

Brian pulled away at the question, watching Nick once again. Now his face was lit up as he watched the football game that he'd found while channel surfing. He was cheering along as the runner ran across the field. Just like that, the Nick he knew and loved was there.

"He's not. I'll do what I have to...when the time comes." He swallowed back the lump that rose. "But that's not now. And I wish everyone would stop pushing me about it. He's not ready."

I'm not ready.

His wife simply nodded, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek before walking off down the hall. He knew she disagreed with him. Brian was thankful she left it at that. He stayed in the doorway, simply watching Nick as the memories hit him. Nick wasn't the only one reliving the past as time went by. Brian was as well. Who had known that this was where the path of their friendship would lead them?

Baylee walked in the room from the kitchen, as Brian continued to observe. For a moment he was thrown back into time. Back to the days when they shared hotel rooms, back in the early days of their career. How many times had he plopped down next to Nick, parked in front of the TV? The biggest difference was that then, it had been video games that absorbed him, rather than football games.

Baylee plopped down on the couch next to Nick. The action simply added to the déjà-vu. For the first few weeks he'd been staying with them, Baylee avoided the man who'd been like a second father to him. It hurt to see that from his only child, but he understood as well. Nick had too, and had hid the pain that the avoidance caused him.