Remember Me This Way

Chapter Thirty One

Nick rubbed his backside as he rode along the cobblestone path. He glanced at Kevin oddly. The two were horseback riding, and Nick was beginning to wonder why he'd agreed to do so. This wasn't something he'd choose to do on his own. He would never say it, but he felt these days he was living for everyone in his life that he cared about, rather than himself. How could it be for his own satisfaction when he lived with the knowledge that one day he wouldn't remember any of it? Brian always got mad at him if he vocalized such thoughts. He kept telling Nick to pray, but he could see it in his best friend's eyes, Brian didn't believe in the power of prayer the way he once did. He tried to cast the thoughts aside and just enjoy the moment.

Easier said than done of course.

The sun was high in the sky that September morning, with the troubles and excitement of August now behind them. The world was still reeling from the news he'd revealed only two weeks before. There wasn't a day without calls from various media, all hounding him for the long exclusive interview he was continuously denying.

Maybe I'll do that Rolling Stone interview, just so everyone else can leave me the hell alone.

The fellas were doing their best to protect him from it. They were the ones talking to the public; they were the ones being interviews, calling the radio stations, making appearances. Of course, that in the end made Nick all the more desirable. He felt like a recluse these days. More often than not, he was choosing to stay home. There were times he would visit the beach, but it wasn't as often as it once was. He knew everyone was worried about him, about him staying so secluded. That was what had him outside on that beautiful day. A breeze blew around them, tossing the red tinged leaves into the air and along their path. There was no one observing them. They were alone and at peace with nature.

Nick would never admit it, but this was exactly what he needed.

"My ass hurts."

Kevin snickered, looking right on top of the horse in a way Nick knew he never would. All he needed was a cowboy hat to complete the image. "Stop whining."

"I'm not whining!" He whined, sticking his tongue out at him playfully.

"So, how are you Nick? I mean really."

"Other than my ass being sore as hell?"

Kevin smirked. "Yes."

"I'm alright, BJ got into town last night, and she hugged me after crying for an hour. The reading of the...well ya know...is tomorrow and I'm nervous."

Silence settled between them as both men reflected on what that meant. Nick had made the decision that when the will was read; he would be there as well. The idea was that if it was announced while was really still within a state of "sound mind" that there wouldn't be much room for anyone to contest it. The idea of that was tragic, but on that same note, Nick knew his family well. Nick liked to think he was simply being overcautious. If anything, he didn't want to be proven right. He wanted more than anything to be proven wrong.

"Did you ever hear from...?"

"Aaron? Fuck no. My dad? Yeah, for like ten minutes, he finally called yesterday. I think Leslie made him do it. She's still crashing on my couch."

Kevin nodded and the two fell silent once again. Their horses trotted slowly, comfortably. Nick looked around, wondering what it would be like when he could no longer remember anything. Would he still be himself deep down? Would it be like being in a coma but not able to wake up? The questions he'd ask himself were morbid. They were also unknown. Despite the fear they caused, he still couldn't help but think them anyway.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"They ain't worth that much anymore."

A fuzzy brow quirked. "Not the way I hear it. People are chomping at the bit to hear from you."