Broken

Chapter 77 - Dead

one month later

Carly's P.O.V

I sat on the window seat in Natalie's old room, in the apartment we used to share. I looked out the window and just stared at the beach. Tears were streaming down my face. They never seemed to stop.

I thought about Natalie and all the times we had together. I thought about our fights, our friendship. But most of all, I thought about these two words that never seemed to leave my head; "She's dead."

-

Flashback
one month ago

I wanted to talk to Natalie. I needed my best friend. I wanted to fill her in on all the things that have happened lately, and if I don't tell her right now, I might just explode. I left baby Natalie with Nash and drove to the hospital. I got out of the car, and went into the building.

I went into Natalie's hall and went by the front desk. "Excuse me?" I said.

The nurse looked up at me and smiled. "How may I help you today?"

"I would like to see Natalie Smith."

Right after the nurse heard Natalie's name, her smile dropped. "Oh, haven't you heard?"

Looked at her confused, "heard what?"

The nurse sighed and looked down. "Natalie was let out early, b-"

I cut her of, "really?" I smiled,"do you know where I can find her?"

The lady sighed again and this time she looked at me. "You didn't let me finish. Natalie was let out early, but yesterday day night, they found a body."

My smile faded away. "W-what do you mean?"

"The body they found was hers." She paused for a moment, "She's dead."

My stomach dropped. "No," I whispered, "no, it can't be true. You're lying." I said, not wanting to believe a word she just said.

"Why would I lie about something like this?"

I shook my head. "No, it's not true."

"I'm sorry." I felt a tear roll down my face. I looked into the nurse's eyes, and I could tell she was telling the truth from the look she has.
I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that Natalie's dead. She was doing so good. I knew she killed herself. But why? Why she do this?

"Was is suicide?" I asked. "Did she kill herself?"

The nurse looked down,"Yes. I'm so sorry."

I put my hand over my mouth, trying not to sob so loudly. "H-How did s-she do it?" I said, while my voice was shaking.

"Well according to the injures they found, she jumped off a building, and she instantly died. I'm so sorry sweetie, I really am."

I just walked away. There was nothing else that could be said or done. I quickly walked out of the hospital, and ran to my car. I opened the door, got in, and slammed it shut. I started hitting the steering wheel, trying to get my anger out, but that didn't help. The tears were falling out of my eyes, never stopping. She was gone, but yet, I was still here. She had a hard life, and So did I. But unlike her, I didn't go kill myself, I stayed strong. She was just being selfish!

I looked up at the sky, "Damn It!" I cried. "How could you be so selfish ?!" I screamed.

I just wanted to leave this stupid hospital. It was hard to see the road because my vision was blurry from crying, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything right now. I just wanted to see Natalie, but it's too late for that.

I got home and opened the door. It was quiet in the house, until I heard a cry. It was baby Natalie's cry. I just ignored it, and ran up the stairs. I heard Nash calling my name, telling me if I was okay, telling me what happened, but I just blocked him out.

When I finally said something, I used those two words the nurse told me at the hospital; "She's dead," was all I said, as I looked up at him.

End of flashback

-

I spend the last month not caring about anything. I didn't even want to see my own daughter. I didn't speak to anyone. I mostly just sat in Natalie's room. I just didn't feel like there was a reason to do anything any more. Most of the time I would stay up all night crying, or just cry myself to sleep. Everyday, I usually just sit on the window seat and look out the window with a blank expression on my face. Just like what I am doing right know.

Nash would come to the apartment when I am not at home, and he would try to get me to talk to him. But I didn't want to. I just wanted to be left alone. And soon he figured that out and decided to leave me alone.

Sometimes I imagine Natalie is still hear. Her laugh and smile will always haunt me. And the thought of never seeing her again, or being able  to talk to her again, just makes everything more worse then it already is.

I wish I could go back to last year. I wish I would of never left her. I wish I was there for her. I wish I could change everything. But I can't, and some how I feel like this whole situation is my fault.
I knew I could of helped her, but I didn't. All I did was watch her suffer and not even know about it. I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most. I let her down.

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A/N

There's only 3 more chapters left till the end of the whole book!!!

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-Carly and Mery