infidelity | maya + farkle

TWENTY-THREE.

eight months later.

HER POINT OF VIEW.

things change, people change. we only grow through change and thats something everyone has to accept. i felt numb days after he told me that he was going. there wasnt many words after that and it was my fault. i wanted to scream and yell at him for leaving me, but i couldnt. i stopped listening after he told me he was going with his dad.

i remember it like it was last night. he told me he loved me mutiple times and a part of me knew what he was going to say before he even started his tangent. it felt like a piece of me left with him and i didnt know how to get it back.

i wanted to hate him for what he did. i went with him to the airport and we shared a moment between us. he assured me that he loved me and that this is what he needed. i kissed him one final time and watched as he pulled away from me even though it was happening in real time it felt like slow motion. his hands broke free of mines and he turned around, walking away. looking back one final time and giving me a small smile before disappearing out of my view. i stood there amongst the various people walking around and going to where they had to. i didnt move, i just felt frozen in time. i watched the love of my life walk away from everything.

it was selfish, but i knew if i had wished for him to stay he would've or at least thats what i told myself. i wanted to believe that we could make it through anything and as time passed that thought slowly faded.

we kept in connect daily when he first left, but slowly things started to be different.

"hey." lucas's voice snapped me out of my trance, it was almost the beginning of a new school year. we were finally seniors and lucas decided to hold a small get together for the senior class. anyone was invited and quite frankly i was suprised he invited me.

"hi." i smiled at him as he sat down next to me. i looked over at him and noticed features of him that i had missed. he had let his hair grown out a bit and it was pushed back underneath a baseball cap. his beautiful eyes lit up as he looked out at the night sky.  he had a small smile on his lips as he approached me.

"how have you been?" he looked over at me. we didnt talk much after everything that happened but we were in a good place.

"ive been okay, just kinda excited to finally start a new school year. the final school year." i laughed and it caused him to smile. "i miss that smile."

"i miss you." he admitted which made me feel butterflies swarming in my stomach.

"how cheesy of you." i joked with a roll of my eyes and lightly nudged him.

"i know, i know." he teased and i made eye contact with him. "no matter how much i try to tell myself to forget you, it's hard. really hard."

i could tell by the look in his eyes that he had thought about this conversation a lot and contemplated what exactly to say, "im sorry for everything." i had apologized before but this felt different.

"is it bad that even through everything that happened, i still wanna be with you more than anyone else-" he chuckled it off as if it was supposed to ease the tension between us.

i reached for his hand and laced my fingers with his before he could continue.

"can we just enjoy this moment right now?" i asked with a smile and looked up at the dark sky glittered with stars.

i didn't know what farkle and i were anymore. no matter what he would always be my best friend but it was hard to go back. go back to what i thought was normal? i was used to just being around him whether it was romantic or not. just as soon as i could even discuss us being an actual item, he moves. i laid back on the hood of his truck and pulled him down with me.