Chapter 38
My other half
Hinawakan ni Ate Desiree ang kamay ko at nakita ko ang pagtulo ng kaniyang mga luha.
"Again, I'm really sorry, Audette. I caused you so much pain. I can't imagine how'd you bear that on your own," naiiyak na sabi niya.
"It's okay, Ate Dee. You're forgiven. Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas at natutunan kong magpatawad," I assured her.
They say that it is hard to forgive someone, no, it is hard to forgive yourself. In order to forgive, you must let go of that burden that you're carrying. Some people choose to live their life without forgiving someone. Some choose to forgive and live, and I belong to those.
Some view forgiveness as ignorance from what happened in the past, I doubt that. Those who forgive symbolize bravery. Amid their past, of how painful it was, of how it contributed to trauma, they still forgive. It takes a strong-enough person to apologize, but a stronger person to forgive.
I chose to forgive everyone— including myself, for or not for Amaya. I chose forgiveness because I cannot live my life holding grudges towards other people. It feels like I am locking myself up inside a cage with all those griefs. And now, I forgive this prisoner inside… I let it all free.
No matter how much they've caused me, I will always look up to the light they once showed upon me.
Isa pa, naniniwala ako kay daddy. Kung ano man ang totoong nangyari, nasisiguro kong iyon ang magbibigay-linaw sa lahat.
"Thank you so much, Audette," niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit at niyakap ko rin siya pabalik.
“Thank you, too… for surviving,” I replied.
"Sana makausap ko na rin si Tita Yazmin pati na ang lola mo. We can't tell everything as of the moment but when the right time comes, you'll be the first one to know," ngitian ko ito para siguraduhing naiintindihan ko.
“OA talaga ng mga ‘to. Huwag mo silang gagayahin, Amaya, okay? Tanders kasi sila,” sabad ng bunsong Chua at itinuro pa kami kay Amaya.
“Damon,” istriktang paninita ng kanilang ina.
“Joke lang, Ma. Nagbibiro lang naman,” mabilis pa sa alas kwatro itong umayos at nilagyan ng pagkain ang plato ng kaniyang ina. Natawa naman kaming lahat sa ginawa nito.
Pagkatapos kumain ay nagpunta na sila sa sala habang tumutulong naman ako kila Manang Rose sa pagliligpit.
"Tulungan ko na kayo," pagkukusa ni Ate Desiree.
"Huwag na, ate, bisita kayo rito," agap ko.
"It's okay, let me help you. 'Wag mo na akong pigilan. Si Mike Enriquez ‘to, hindi kita tatantanan," she jokingly said.
Sumuko na rin ako at bahagyang natawa. "Sige na nga."
“Siya nga pala, Mama's looking for you.”
“Ngayon na, ate?”
“Yes. She's outside. Kami na ang bahala sa ligpitin. Amaya's with the boys.”
Itinigil ko ang ginagawa at lumabas para puntahan ang kanilang na ina na prenteng nakaupo sa kahoy na upuan. Kalmado lamang ito roon at pinalilibutan ng tingin ang paligid.
“Come here, hija,” paanyaya niya nang mapadako ang tingin sa akin na naglalakad papalapit sa kaniya.
"Bakit po, Mama?" I shyly asked. It still feels so new to call her that way.
"I want to talk to you," sagot nito.
“Sure, Ma. Ano pong pag-uusapan natin?” puno ng pag-iingat kong pagtatanong, natatakot na may masabing hindi niya magugustuhan.
BINABASA MO ANG
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