I Dare You (Chua Boys Series #1)

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

You have me

My heart aches seeing those teary eyes and sorrowful face of him. The last time I saw it was when I pushed him back then.

“Know that, for me… you'll be worth the wait. Always worth it,” naluluha nitong sambit.

"I'm sorry, Don," tanging nasabi ko at niyakap siya.

"It's fine, love. There's nothing to be sorry about," alu niya.

"No. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry, Don."

Those words I've said before backpedaled. I remember being annoyed because of hearing sorry many times yet it's what I'm doing. Mahirap din palang magsalita sa mga sitwasyon na hindi mo inaasahan kaya ang tanging kaya mo lang sabihin ay humihingi ka ng tawad.

“It's okay, love. Kinaya ko. Hindi mo na kailangang humingi ng tawad.”

“Bakit hindi ka nagkwento kila Mama Feda? Kay Ate Dee? Kay Damon? Sa mga kaibigan mo? Why did you choose to bear it alone?” Sunod-sunod kong tanong.

“I didn't want to be a burden. I don't want them to add me to the list of their problems anymore. I grew up being dependent on them, ayaw kong pati sa ganoong punto ng buhay ko ay ipagkakalat ko pa sa kanila. I had to do it so I could learn… so I could live. A life without pain is meaningless, love. And dilemmas that should be dealt with alone doesn't signify that one is afraid of asking for help. It is a choice.”

I hate it. I hate imagining how much he had suffered on his own. We were both devastated, but the thing was, I had my family. I had the courage to share my hardships with them, while Donny chose to bear it all on his own. He chose to take all the pain by himself because he thought that it was for the better.

I can't blame him if he chose not to ask for help. It was his decision. It was his choice. He did what he thought was better for himself. The only thing that I can do now is to give him comfort, to love him, freely, without any judgments.

“I'm really sorry, Donny.”

"Forgiven. As if kaya kitang tiisin," anito na animo'y wala lamang sa kaniya ang sakit at hirap na dinanas.

I smiled at him and regretted what I've done. I regret that I didn't do this sooner. Well maybe, this is God's plan for us. The tables have finally turned, and I thank Him for allowing me to feel the warmth of my home.

"Thank you, Don. I am indeed happy that we're now together. Hindi na ako aalis sa tabi mo, pangako."

Tama na ang pag-iwas at paghahabol. Panahon na rin para bigyan muli ang kung ano mang mayroon kami. No more running in circles. There maybe escape in escaping but the reality will never end in escapism. Nothing will end as one chooses to run away.

"Are you sure? O baka ginagawa mo lang ito para kay Amaya?" Kunot-noong aniya na kunwari pang hindi naniniwala kahit ang totoo ay gusto niya ng ngumiti.

"I am sure. And I'm not only doing this for Amaya. Let's make it real, love. I want to do what I have always wanted to do. I am choosing what my heart desires," I assured him.

"You don't have to. I'm fine if we stay civil—"

"I'm not fine with what you're thinking right now. And civil? Have you forgotten that you fucked me the first day we got here?" nakapameywang na wika ko.

Tumikhim ito na tila nahihiya sa narinig. Marahil ay hindi niya inaasahang marinig iyon mula sa akin.

“That was bold,” he let out a manly chuckle. “So, you agree?”