Coca.

Fifty Five

Fifty Five

The Confession

"We had agendas with each other. Don't act like it was just me"

I held on to my stomach as tears fell down my face. I still loved him so much, I knew I wasn't looking at the person I fell in love with. This was someone else. He stared back at me seemingly unbothered by my tears. Something that definitely would have bothered him before.

"It just clicked. When I read the profile I thought I was reading about myself. I thought what would I do if there was someone interfering with my business? Killing someone powerful is too messy and brings too much attention. I would do what I did to you. Lie and manipulate my way into what I needed. You needed for me to realize that I could be more than Coca. You needed to give me a reason to want to give it up. You gave me you. You gave me another child. You fed my delusion that it was everyone else who wanted me to be her." I felt my voice breaking. I knew I needed to kill him, but my pregnancy hormones had me up and down.

I was reading the profile and watching the gender reveal live. It wasn't Mya's eyes that made me leave it was his. He looked so mean and vile for the first time to me. It was the way I could literally see him switching personas. He acted so well. He was so committed to the role. I was reading and I was looking at him and it was like a light bulb went off. I had done everything possible to run him off and he made sure he stayed. Why? I was the only one not arrested. Why? My gut told me over and over that he was too good to be true and I was right. He was. He needed it to work as bad I did. We acted like we were cutely finding our way back to each other and fighting for our relationship when it was just us pushing through with our plans.

I knew all of this and I still came back for him. I thought Tyler also figured out who he was and he was going to kill him. It was the only reason I left Europe for good. I knew this whole relationship had been a lie and I still wanted to protect him. I knew that him getting me pregnant was deliberate and I still wanted to make a family with him. I was still walking around here like nothing was wrong even though I knew he was.  I was still considering him to be the love of my life even though it was fake. I just wanted to hold on to him a little longer.  I couldn't let the fantasy go. I wanted there to be someone who saw the best in me. I wanted there to be someone who wasn't going to give up on me. I wanted there to be someone who understood me. He did. Too well. So well, he used it to play me.

"Okay. Clearly we haven't been honest with each other. Shoot. What do you want to know? It's out now." He asked. He seemed so nonchalant and it made me sick to my stomach.

"You came to that party with Jason looking for me?"

"No. I knew I would run into you eventually though. Xavier had told me about this idea to get some money from some very rich people. Business was slow and I needed to make some money.  He told me he had been scheming with a powerful judge to take some people down and steal their territory. I hadn't been actively involved in my business for a while.  Soldiers had been running it for me and bringing the money back. Mainly Xavier. I was trying to get away from that life and transition out. I had watched so many of my homies die in this shit. When he told me the territories he was trying to take over it raised an eyebrow because I knew I had made a deal 4 years ago to make those territories mine when you guys decided to branch out. I had no idea they weren't anymore until he  mentioned it. I asked who the mark was and he said the Jones Family. He said the key would be to take out the boss, Coca. I knew your name but not your face. I knew you betrayed and lied to me after we made an agreement those years ago over the phone. I never spoke to you directly, but my head of security did. Xavier was stealing money from me and making deals behind my back, like the one he made with you and Tyler's brothers a year ago. Xavier told me he was going to stupidly testify against you guys to get you out of the way. I knew you wouldn't let that fly. I went behind X and called the judge myself. I had a better plan. I knew one of the Jones brothers was infamous for hacking and it would be no time until you came for Xavier. I knew you were smart enough to dig into his life and find me. I was looking for you and you were looking for me. I used my cousin as bait to find you. When I showed up to the party, and Jason was hinting about who you were I didn't get it until I went home that night and seen you on the news. I knew that you found me. It went from there."