Coca.

Seventeen

Seventeen
Boundaries

"I love you. I'm not confused about that"

Izzy walked past me to take a seat on a barstool in my kitchen. I decided to stand.

"How did you get a key to my place?"

"Mariah. After she cussed me out and threatened to kill me, we talked. You hide a lot of stuff from your friends? I could tell she doesn't even know the half. You leave them out of stuff so you can manipulate and use them?"

"To protect them. Nobody should know everything. They become liabilities that way." He shook his head in disapproval. "That's your problem. Everyone is a pawn in your life. That's why I won't fuck with you."

"You told me that on the phone. You came here to say that? Look, I'm not myself lately. Otherwise I would've broken your neck for all the disrespect that flies out of your arrogant ass mouth. You have this strange idea that I won't kill you and I will. You didn't have to even show up here. There's absolutely nothing that we have to talk about. I'm telling you I understand not wanting a child with someone who was responsible for your cousin's death. I'm not pressuring you into anything. I can get it over with fast and we don't ever have to speak again." He rolled his eyes.

"I don't want you to abort the baby. I came here to tell you that in person. I wouldn't be able to live with that." "Not because you want to give the baby a stable and loving life? But because you want your conscience clear? You can go now." I snapped pointing to the door.

"I'm not going anywhere. I want the baby to be loved and taken care of by the both of us. We knew what we were doing. We knew what the consequence would be." He was right. I knew the outcome would be this if I wasn't careful. Careful was the last thing that we were.

"I know how this game goes. I used to be in it. I know in reality you had to do what you did. I just can't get over it being my cousin. Then there's the way you went about it. I would have rather you kidnapped me and beat his location out of me. You had to go the extra mile and do all of this other shit you did. What was your endgame? Like realistically. What was supposed to come from this?"

"He was just supposed to die. I wish I would've just kidnapped you and beat you too. I wouldn't be so fucked up now. I wouldn't feel how I feel about you." I admitted.

"I'll never know what is real or fake with you. Everything is some type of manipulation. A façade apart of a bigger scheme..."

"I won't argue with you. You're partly right. I just started losing control the moment I started to really care about you. Nothing has been going my way since. I can't reel the feelings back in. Now there's a bab-"

I got choked up. I can't believe I was selfish enough to let all of this happen.

"The truth is I could've just killed you in that house as soon as I got what I needed. I found reasons in my head to justify keeping you around. I was convincing myself that I was using you and none of it was real. That I was just having fun in the process. You could see through me. The palm reader could see through me. That's not something I am use to. Letting someone see my real self."