Strawberries and cigarettes

22-Namjoon

When Namjoon arrived home that night, he was surprised to find his sister wide-awake, working on her physics homework. With a concerned frown on his face, he checked the time once again: It was 2 am. Kitty was only thirteen, she was definitely not supposed to be awake at this time of night.
Standing in the door to the bedroom they shared, Namjoon cleared his throat in order to get her attention and she turned her head in surprise. Namjoon had to smile seeing how her long and dark-brown hair flew through the air and her eyes started shining brightly when they met with him.
"What are you doing still up, Kitty? Don't you have school tomorrow?", he asked with a chuckle and wrapped his arms around her tiny torso since she'd gotten up from her chair and run over to him to greet him with a warm hug.

"I thought you'd stay with your boyfriend tonight, why didn't you? It's too late to be out on the streets, that's dangerous!"
Her voice was still childishly high but Namjoon knew she was more grown-up than she looked. Sadly, she was forced to be because of their mother. He chuckled at her words and then ended the hug so that he could look into her eyes.
"I wanted to see you before your test tomorrow but I thought it would be in the morning, not now. Why are you not sleeping yet? And where's mum?"
His sister's happy expression fell within a split second and Namjoon could feel a sharp pain in his chest when he watched a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. No good news then, he should have known.

Their apartment wasn't very spacious with one kitchen-living room complex, one bedroom, and a bathroom, he should have seen her sleep on the couch on his way in but she wasn't there.
"She left around 5 hours ago, didn't say where. She was drinking though.", his sister explained quietly and Namjoon bit his lip, not knowing what to say to comfort her. Suddenly, a thought entered his head though and he lifted her chin with his index finger so that she had to look at him.
"Did you have dinner yet? She didn't cook for you again, right?
Kitty shook her head and Namjoon noticed how her hand slowly wandered towards her tiny belly. She was way too skinny for her 5'4 height.
"Come on, let's get a post-midnight snack, I'm starving as well.", he suggested, trying his best to sound cheerful while he took her hand and pulled her into the kitchen gently.
"What do you feel like eating? Any secret cravings?"
She let out a small laugh as clear as a bell and shyly played with her hair while looking at the floor.
"Can we make pasta? You know, the European style with cheese and cream sauce? I haven't had that in ages."

-

It was around 3 in the morning when Kitty finally fell asleep and Namjoon collapsed on his own bed.
Why was it so exhausting to always take care of everything?
To some extent, he could even find himself understanding his mother for her drinking habit. She was working at a laundry, basically the most filthy job you could have in this city and it didn't pay even close to what they needed for this family. The only reason why they weren't homeless yet was the money his dad had left when he died four years ago, but it wouldn't last for much longer.
Namjoon's mum had never gotten over the death of her husband. They'd been young and in love when they married even though they did argue a lot. Somehow, they always made up again and respected and adored each other a lot which was why they decided to form a family at the age of only 22.

Namjoon remembered the time well when he was around six and got the message that he would be a brother soon. His mother had cried tears of joy and held him for half an hour, whispering into his ear how happy she was and how she promised that her love for him wouldn't grow less at all.
He'd believed her. He loved his mother over everything else back then but with Kitty's birth, a lot of struggles tagged along. Their father had problems in the company he was working in, got home later, and later, was more stressed out and moody every single day. The paradise that had once been their apartment soon turned into a place of negativity when he got home from work.
It was not his fault but Namjoon had been young and so he hated his dad for doing this to their perfect family.