Strawberries and cigarettes

26-Namjoon

When the door fell shut behind Yoongi and Jungkook, Namjoon winced and formed fists with his hands. The entire situation had made him more than sensitive to a lot of things even if they were as small as metallic sounds from a basement door. His entire body was tingling from head to toe, shaking uncontrollably from time to time. He tried his best not to show how much everything was getting to him because he had to be the calm head of the group but he knew that he wasn't succeeding. His head hurt and he could feel his pulse in his fingertips, temples and even in his toes, that was how affected his body was. Not that his psyche had it any easier. Only a few minutes ago, who he thought was his best friend had called him to headquarters only for him to find out that his other best friend was going behind his back with Jungkook and Seokjin.
How could they have left him out of this?!
Namjoon had always thought that they were a team and a package deal but apparently, they were more than willing to leave him out despite their history.

"Are you guys okay?", Taehyung asked after a moment, looking at him and his boyfriend with a concerned expression. Right, he probably had no idea about what Yoongi and Jungkook had done with Seokjin's help. Namjoon tried but he wasn't able to swallow his anger and frustration so he just stayed silent, not wanting to snap at anyone right now. Seokjin sighed and then put on a friendly smile to look at the younger when he answered: "I wish, but there are a lot of things going on so everything is pretty tense."
Namjoon was surprised by how accurate these words were from his point of view and he lifted his chin to see his boyfriend's facial expression when he kept explaining the situation.
"The thing is that I gave the ransom to Yoongi that the kidnappers asked for in return for Jimin and he went to the drop off with Jungkook. The problem is that they followed the kid and threatened him which lead to another message that you've probably seen already. Namjoon isn't very pleased about the fact that I went behind his back but I felt like I had no other choice. In my head, it was the only thing I could have done to save Jimin but now I realized that Namjoon's right."

The white-haired didn't really know why but it bothered him incredibly much to hear the brunette speak about him like he wasn't in the same room. Like he couldn't hear them talk about what happened. And he hated that Seokjin made it sound so understandable and like he should be sympathetic to him. He knew that he was going to forgive him the second he asked for it and he hated that fact because it still hurt him so incredibly much when he found out about his betrayal. It was the worst thing that anyone could do: To ask for advice and then do the exact opposite of what you told them without letting you know about it even though it affected you a lot. The more he thought about it, the more worked up Namjoon got until he suddenly let go of the brooding and speak his thoughts without thinking them first:
"Yeah, he was right. And he told you that this exact thing was going to happen. And he trusted you to make the right call or at least council with other people about it that are clearly a part of this situation and he is still upset about it because the people he cared about most in his entire life ever, the people who he thought were never going to let him down did the exact thing that hurt him in the past again and again."
Namjoon's voice was getting louder and louder the longer he was talking and Seokjin and Taehyung looked at him in surprise. They hadn't seen him upset before like this and usually, if everything wasn't this stressed, he wouldn't be so toxic to his friends but right now he couldn't keep it under control.

After his little breakout, everyone stayed silent in the room for a while. Nobody dared to say something about Namjoon's comment and he groaned while letting himself drop onto the couch in exhaustion. He took off his glasses and pressed his fingers against his eyes, trying to get rid of the burning pain that came from his lack of sleep.
"Namjoonie...", a soft voice appeared right next to his ear and he shivered and opened his eyes again. Hoseok was sitting right beside him, tilted head and a concerned look on his face. The brunette slowly lifted his arm and put it around his shoulder, immediately sharing his body warmth with the other. In a way, it was exactly what Namjoon needed right now even though he would never admit it and was actually still mad at every one since... well, Hoseok had betrayed him just as well by knowing about the entire situation and keeping it secret from him. The white-haired looked up and locked eyes with his best friend, not realizing that tears were rolling down his cheek like a waterfall.
"Listen to me... I got your back. We all have your back and I understand that you might not believe me right now but you have to keep it in mind. This is the only thing that can hold us together and we need to stick together if we want to make it through this. Now, can you put your anger to rest for just this night to get Jimin, and then it'll all be fine. You don't have to come along if you don't want to, alright?"