Yeah, I deleted the last 69th part by accident. Or, no. Not by accident. I'm trying to change my perspective on things, and ignore everything gender and sexuality. It's been brought to my attention that perhaps(because I didn't have dysphoria at that exact moment) perhaps I am just a cis female with body dysmorfia(however that's spelled). If whoever said that is reading this, don't feel bad. I know you didn't mean any harm by it.
Either way, my mind is ragging on me because 'what if they're right? And you've been lying to everyone?' or something. Which is the WHOLE reason I'm no longer paying any attention to my gender or what it may or may not be.
Anyways, my birthday is tomorrow(August 12th). Don't make a big deal of it(if anyone was ever going to). I'm trying to mostly ignore it because I can't celebrate it with my best friend when she's in Texas and I'm still just here. So I'm not really having a party, not getting gifts all at once, and not letting people sing to me. And I don't want to explain why I'm treating my birthday like any other day, because honestly, I'm so sick of getting sad eyes from everyone.
Sorry for ranting. Y'all probably arent interested in that. I made a cake, if anyone is interested in that.
I guess that's all because I've made you guys read through one too many depression updates. But I kind of circled back several paces last night, if I keep it vague. I'll be wearing hoodies for a while.
Okay now I'll stop. Bye, if anyone did actually read this.
YOU ARE READING
The online journal of a messy human
Rastgeleyyyup I'm writin another one... (There's no specific update schedule by the way)