Exposed. || swritess_

Paradox

It had taken him less than a minute to reply after you'd sent the text.

Why didn't you tell me your father died?

Maybe 30 seconds later, your phone buzzed with a notification of Kylo's reply.

My place. Now.

You'd managed to wait almost three days before texting him. Carrying the guilt and the worry and itching to just ask him. Ans you couldn't just go about your life knowing that every minute that passed was another minute Kylo spent blaming himself.

The walk from the elevator to Kylo's front door had never felt so long before. It was maybe a few yards but tonight it felt like an entire mile. And kind of like walking the plank.

Kylo would be mad, that was for sure. Enraged, probably. You'd found out something he clearly hadn't wanted you to know, though you still didn't quite understand why.

You opened the already unlocked door and walked into Kylo's apartment, finding him standing by the window.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

Kylo still had his back to you, still looking out the window as he spoke with an sharp, icy tone. You quietly set your bag down and walked further into the room.

"Kylo, I was-

That was when he finally turned around.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

His voice was loud enough to echo in the room, but it was the look on his face that startled you. Guilt started eating away at your stomach, a sickening, gut-wrenching feeling as you took him in. He looked angry but he also looked hurt. Confused, frustrated. Things you hadn't intended to make him feel.

Your throat felt like sandpaper as you swallowed. "I know I shouldn't have, but-

"It's bad enough that you're always in my mind, under my fucking skin," he spat. "Now you're digging around in my personal business? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Look, I know what I did was wrong," you admitted, "but so was what you did. You can't just keep stringing me along and keep me from moving on and then give me a horribly vague explanation. You can't expect me to be able to live with that."

Kylo didn't object nor deny it. He took slow, calculated strides towards you until he was nearly within arm's reach. The anger boiling just under the surface was visible, etched into every crevice of his face.

"I don't know what you think you might know, but I guarantee you don't know everything," he said through clenched teeth.

"I know enough." You softened your voice to a gentle cadence. "But you need to know that it's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for-

He closed the remaining gap between the two of you in seconds, rough hands seizing your wrists and walking you backwards until your back collided with the wall.

"You don't know anything," he spat. "You don't-

"Then tell me Kylo," you interrupted. "Tell me what I don't know because I have no fucking clue what-

"You know nothing!" he yelled. "You know nothing about how I feel about you or how fucking awful things have been since we broke up! You have no idea that I love you so much it physically hurts me!"

And suddenly this had nothing to do with his father.

You froze and stood there utterly shocked, staring at him with widened eyes and parted lips. Your heartbeat hammered against your ribs with so much force you wouldn't have been surprised if Kylo could heart it.