WHAT COMES AFTER THE END OF THIS

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Jason's PoV

I loved her. And I was becoming more sure of it every single day. The time I had just spent with her today confirmed it, i would really die for this girl if the need arose. She was beautiful in all regards and the way my shirt looked so amazing on her today just made me want to do things to her that would make her realise just how beautiful she was and how all her insecurities about her weight were completely wrong. I went to sleep thinking about how her small hand fit into mine perfectly and how I wanted to keep it that way forever, caged in my grip, never letting her slip away. My dreams were haunted by her Angel like presence that night.
~*~
Yrene's PoV

I awoke feeling much lighter, although the idea of Chase having left me still made my heart ache, the fact that I had regained my friend helped ease that pain. Thinking about him and totally forgetting that tomorrow we would be engaged, I dug out the friendship bracelet, the one matching the one Jason still had on his wrist and clasped it behind the one Bear had gifted me. The only difference between the bracelets was that mine had a letter 'J' charm woven into it while I had given him one with the letter 'Y' as the centre piece. I smiled at the memory when the reality of what was going to happen tomorrow fully dawned upon me. Would it change our friendship? The friendship we had just reincarnated? Or would it mean nothing to him and I, would we keep going our separate ways, him snogging anything with two legs and me pining for something that had been nothing but a fling to the other person involved? Locking the thoughts away, I change into the outfit I had chosen for school today, a plain white jumpsuit, black pumps, typical lipstick and black Miu Miu shades. As usual I skipped breakfast, got screamed at Michelle for it, got lectured by Ross, ate an apple and ordered Ross to drive us to school. The day was going on pretty smoothly, I hadn't seen Chase and didn't want to either, except I had to because I had a lesson with him but that was later and I had decided to take the day one step at a time. And at the moment I was walking the three idiots that I refer to as my best friends to sociology class.
"Say Nene, you look happy today... Did something happen yesterday?"
"Not much. I just hung out with Jason and we went for a swim in some lake." I reply typing away on my phone.
"Oooohhhh I see...."
"Shut up! It's nothing like that!"
"Chill Yr, we never said it was 'anything' like that."
I scoff and am about to walk towards one of the many common rooms as they are about to enter their class when Joss stops in the doorway.
"Nene, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to drive you back today. Football practice came up and coach will be pissed if I miss. But don't worry though I called Jason and he has agreed to come and he also said something along the lines of: "Great! I had something planned already." Now, I don't know what to make of it but...toodles!"
"You fucking jerk I hate you!" I stomp my foot on the ground like a madwoman letting out frustrated screams through clenched teeth when the douche's face reappears in the doorway,
"Oh and BTW the bracelet with his initial looks fabulous on you! I'm sure he'll love it!"
This time I fling my bag at him and it hits him square in the face. When he disappears ,snickering, I start walking towards the common room. Just when I'm passing through the halls someone grips my arm and pulls me inside one of the offices and given my lack of attention which was being given to my phone I don't even know which hallway I was in right now. Fear grips me and panic paralyses me, my breathing gets laboured and I feel a constriction in my chest. Memories of Katie's birthday flash in my mind continuously, blocking any rational thoughts, meaning I am too paranoid to think that the boy who assaulted me doesn't even go to our school. At some point I had tightly closed my eyes and amidst my own heavy breathing I can vaguely hear someone call out my name as they shake me.
"Yrene! What's wrong? Baby please!" I snap my eyes open once I recognise the voice as none other than my maths teacher and I instantly relax. It's just Chase. Calm down. Just the Chase you know. Calm the fuck down. After this internal monologue with my subconscious I calm down enough and once I do I'm extremely confused by what I am doing here and so I question him about it.
"What do you mean 'what are you doing here?' Can't friends meet and catch up?"
"Mr. Drew, please get to the point."
"Mr. Drew? Seriously? I thought we were past that."
"Well I thought we were past many things too, turns out that what we think is not always true." I give him a sarcastic smile at the end and he looks away. "So Sir, I suggest you get to the point immediately."
"Yr," I don't call him out on using the nickname I only keep reserved for loved ones because it sounds extremely beautiful rolling off of his tongue, "I just want to catch up. That's all."
"Well we haven't been disconnected for that long so there's not much I need to talk to you about. Have a good day Sir." I'm about to make my way out because in all honesty this conversation is taking a toll on me, I can't be around him when all I want to is kiss him and slap him at the same time for treating me the way he did. The good and the bad.
"Yr, please don't go." He stops by wrapping his hand around my elbow.
I turn around and glare at him.
"Okay at least tell me what happened just now. Why couldn't you breathe properly?"
"What do you think? It was a damn panic attack Chase!"
"Panic attacks? Since when? Why do I not know about this?"
"Since someone fucking raped me Chase, that's when! I've been awfully cautious of my surroundings and the people who lay hands on me since then! And how the fuck would I have known it was you? And why don't you know about this? Oh let me guess. Maybe because we aren't whatever we were anymore and I didn't want to come to you with my petty issues. You're a big, grown up boy Chase and I'm an inexperienced dumbass. That's why!" I yell at him, taking out all of my frustration at him and all he does is stand there with an adorable shocked and confused looking expression on his face.
"I'm sorry Yr, I really am. Forgive me. Please."
"All's forgiven. And forgotten." 
"Today's Wednesday."
"Wow. You know your days of the week big boy!" I clap my hands in mock appreciation as I roll my eyes at him.
"What I mean to say Yrene, is that tomorrow is Thursday-"
"And as I said, I'm proud of you for knowing your days properly. Now I'm leaving if you're only gonna stand there and repeat the days of the week."
"Listen to me for fucks sake, will you?"
"Speak."
"Tomorrow is your engagement. How do you feel about that?"
"Hmm," I pretend to think, "now what I feel about that is that it is none of your business or anyone else's for that matter and I'm fine. No one needs to worry for me."
"Fine. I won't talk to you about that then." He lifts up his hands in surrender but the pain in his eyes is quite evident.
"Good." But it doesn't matter because the pain he caused me was no less.
"But that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you."
"Chase I have to go to the library, I need to work on something before your lesson so out with it in five seconds or I'm out."
"Fine woman! Have you eaten properly? Since, you know, I-I told you about my feelings? Like I'm only saying that because before that I was keeping a close eye on what you ate and all."
"Look Chase, don't worry about me. I have a lot of people caring for my wellbeing and I don't need you to do the same thing. Thank you very much."
"What do you mean Yrene? Can I not ask you about these normal things, have I lost the right?"
"I don't know how to say it more clearly, I mean you were the one who said it first but here it is: what we had, Chase, was temporary or as we'd call it, just a fling. Nothing more and nothing less. Purely based on physical attraction. So I suggest we let the subject drop." My heart aches as I say the words aloud and they leave a bitter taste in my mouth afterwards but it doesn't matter.
"You're psycho if you think it was only physical."
"Thank you for pointing out my mental condition, yet again. But for fucks sake drop it now."
"Yrene I said I'm sorry okay!"
"Sorry for what?"
"Whatever you're mad at me about! That's what!"
"Fine. Just leave me alone then."
"I can't!"
"Why Chase? Why can't you let me be? Since day one you've been there and it needs to stop. It's professional between us is it not?"
"Goddamit Yrene! Stop, okay? I thought we were friends!"
"You thought wrong then!"
"Can't we just be friends? Is it necessary for there to be some sort of physical association? No!"
"Fine then. We're friends. Now what do you want?"
"Just sit with me and talk. Like before. Like nothing has changed."
"But everything has changed."
"Then pretend it hasn't." The hurt in his voice makes me sit down on his couch as he falls in next to me but for the first time there seems to be not much to say between us. It's cold. And empty.
~*~
Chase's PoV

I was now suddenly more aware of the damage I had caused to her. I had utterly broken her although there was a spark, a certain brightness in her eyes that wasn't there before. What hurt even more than that was that she didn't want me to come near her, talk to her, give her the comfort I had provided before. I had destroyed her and now she was destroying me. Slowly. Unknowingly. And I didn't know how long I could stand it. When she raises her hand to push away a strand of hair that has escaped from her messy bun, an action I had to sit on my hands to prevent myself from doing, I notice a bracelet atop the one Bear gifted her. A bracelet that has never been there before and a bracelet that has the letter 'J' hanging from it. Pangs of jealousy and rage shoot through my being as I look at it for a longer time and when I realise what the Y bracelet on Jason's wrist had meant. Shortly after, she leaves and I am left alone with my thoughts. Thoughts of her. And I have to remind myself of the reason for letting her go non stop and it takes all my courage to just not get up and kiss her smart mouth senseless. I watch as the love of my life leaves my office. Or, as she leaves my life.