WHAT COMES AFTER THE END OF THIS

Chapter 73

Chapter 73

Yrene's PoV

"... But I think I deserved it anyways in the end." I shrugged my shoulders, having completed telling my story to the people seated around me in a deformed circle; to say the least they all looked shocked out of their wits and for that I was utterly glad; I could not for the life of me deal with more pitiful glances.

"Yrene, wow, that's a lot, sweetheart. I am very very proud of you for having come forward and share your story with us, of course none of us can really understand or even imagine what exactly you've been through and that too at such an early age but I can tell you one thing: You are more than strong for having spoken about your problems with us, for wanting to help yourself in the dear memory of the boy you loved and we will try our maximum best to help you achieve whatever it is that you wish to achieve. We are very proud of you for taking the first step to change your life, darling. And one more thing sweetheart, you absolutely did not deserve any of it. None of us do.  I smile a genuine smile at the sweet woman who's voice is like the best type of honey,

"Thank you Ms. Rebecca"

"No, thank you for having the courage to face your demons headfirst."

She hugs me and in that moment all I can think about is the irony of how two people with the same name can have such different personalities; one of them had been a vital reason for me having ended up in what she'd call a 'loony house' and the other was helping me get back on my feet.

I was saddened by the stories that the other people told but yet I was careful to not let the stark gleam of pity penetrate my gaze for who would know better than I about how horrible an effect pity had on another person. By the end of the session,I can swear my life on it, there was not a single person who hadn't had tears line their eyes due to the stories being told.

Before I left Miss Rebecca handed me a schedule which had a proper diet plan (with loads of encouraging words) and a weighing timetable, listing the days and hours I would be weighed and schedule for my one to one sessions with Miss Rebecca. Undoubtedly, the piece of paper triggered my anxiety and I immediately told miss Rebecca about it who instantly took me into her office and started interrogating my symptoms and everything before handing me a prescription bottle. As I took the pill bottle from her, I immediately promised myself to not abuse or misuse the prescription and thanking her for her generosity, I left the office and made my way home.

Sighing, I removed my cardigan, hanging it back inside the closest and proceeded to peel the form fitting lace blouse (which wasn't so form fitting anymore since I had lost those few more kilos) from my torso and the skirt from my waist, left in my underwear, I stood in front of the mirror analysing my reflection; being able to count my ribs through my skin for some reason made me feel happy, as did the hollow area between my ribs where a fat stomach was once housed, the gap between my thighs was another helped me receive a level of elation I hadn't thought possible. This was indeed the body I had worked so hard to achieve. I stood on the weighing machine that Jason had kept in his gym and weighed myself; forty three kilos. Now, according to my height, I was supposed to weight at least forty eight but this was good enough too, wasn't it?

I guess it wasn't good enough after all; when upon being weighed in front of Miss Rebecca, I was immediately pulled into her office. Consequently, she gave me a lecture on how underweight I was and how it was bad for me and even though I had signed up for this myself it wouldn't have impacted me enough had she not said the last words,

"Yrene," she grabbed my hands,"sweetie, just remember that you are doing this for Jason. Just reach your normal BMI and, even the lowest band and we promise you, all will be fine. Just exercise regularly and you won't feel even a bit of extra fat on your body, but only after you weigh at least forty eight kilos." She smiled warmly at the end and I gave her an assuring nod. That day when I went home I promised Jason's memory that I would follow the eating schedule religiously. And I did.