WHAT COMES AFTER THE END OF THIS

Chapter 79

Chapter 79
Yrene's PoV

I remembered the last time I had been here, at Jason's last memorial service; they happened every year on his death anniversary and as much as I disliked returning to my hometown, I made conscious effort to make an appearance at these services every year. Sometimes, I'd get on a plane according to my whim, land and leave the prettiest alstroemerias, three bamboo sticks and pale blue chrysanthemums near his headstone as a token of my undying love, devotion and friendship to him, the bamboos adding the charm of good luck to the combination. I would sit by his marble headstone for hours, picking at the grass blades that tickled the soles of my feet as I sat barefoot and speak to him as I did now, at his memorial service to a picture of us in his home bed room. Only difference, though, between those and now, is that I'm actually seeing my family, the other times I would just catch the earliest flight out of here.  

"Hey, Jay! So today it's been four years, one thousand four hundred and sixty days, twenty one thousand nine hundred, one million three hundred and fourteen thousand seconds since I last saw you. Since you last told me you loved me and even longer since the last time you kissed me." I heave a long sigh, the exhale shaking with the force of lousy tears begging me to shed them but I hold out for a while longer as I continue to talk to the picture.
"I never thought it was fair that you got to love me longer than I got to love you; not a day passes by without me hating myself for not loving you earlier, for not having realised that it was always you, that it had to be you." I let out another shaky breath, my lip wobbles, a traitorous tear slides down my cheek and I hastily wipe it away as I'm reminded of how much he used to hate it when I cried. 

"I hope you're happy, wherever you are. I hope you find another girl to annoy in Heaven till I join you because then I'm going to have to make up for this time we are losing, me here and you up there." Senselessly, I point my finger towards the sky where I know he is, smiling and shaking his head at how pathetic I am being. Hell, even I almost laugh at myself. I imagine us laughing at my stupidity together. Like we used to. But there's no, loud boom of laughter that my heart strains to hear. I stand in his room for some more time when I'm suddenly joined by the most precious creature in the world. 

Baby Jason tugs at my stockings, subtly signalling for me to pick him up,
"Up! Up!" He says and I shake my head at him, smiling as I bend down, this baby and his namesake both really do know that I will never be able to say 'no' to them. I kiss both of his soft, chubby cheeks as I hold him at the side of my waist. For a baby that turned three a month ago, he sure is heavy and intelligent. He points at the picture then looks at me as I make faces at him,

"Nini?"
"Jay-Jay?" I say and nuzzle his cheek with my nose.
"Who is this?"
"That's me!" I chuckle and respond, kissing his cheeks.
"No!" He whines and I laugh at his cuteness, "Him!" He points at his uncle and I'm sure a shadow passes over my face but I quickly overcome it and answer truthfully.
"That is Jaosn."
"No, he's not. I'm Jason!" He squeals adorably and I explain further.
"Well, he was also Jason. I love him a lot."
He pouts in the cutest manner possible and I gush at him.
"Hey, baby, I love you too."
"Where is he? I never saw him!"
"Well, you see, some people are angels, and God takes His angels away quickly after sending them to our family to make us happy. Jason was an angel, he was mommy's brother. He used to make us all very happy. Just like you." I pinch his cheeks for added measure and he beams at me before starting to wriggle out of my hold and running down.

"He's adorable, is he not?" I ask Jason's photograph and wait for a reply that is bound to never come. A few moments pass as I revel in old memories, memories from a lifetime ago before I'm joined by Mishy.