WHAT COMES AFTER THE END OF THIS

Chapter 69

Chapter 69

Yrene's PoV

Regaining my lost strength, I pull myself up from the white tiled floor and make my way to my room. Lighting up a Marlboro, bottle of whiskey in hand, I call up someone who I knew would listen to my rants, even in the middle of the night. He always did; no matter what, after all that is what brothers are for.

"Bear?"
"Sister?" He realises groggily, obviously having been woken up from a deep slumber which is odd considering the man barely sleeps at night due to the 'immense workload'.
"Yes, it's me."
"Well, I'm not talking to you. You literally ditched me today! We had plans!"
I smile at his annoyance even though I am feeling guilty on the inside. I let release a long sigh to gain his attention,
"Hey... Everything okay? You seem off."
"Chill, I don't have a blade or any sharp object on me; they removed everything from my room, even my goddam scissors." I say with venom in my tone. Why could they not understand and accept the damn fact that it was a mistake! I never meant for it to go that far initially, admittedly, I didn't want to come back at one point but that was before I saw Jason being disappointed in me! It was over and I was actually trying to get help for myself now. I attach the expensive bottle to my lips, ignoring the glass which per my nightly custom sits on my balcony table and gulp down the whiskey; neat. It burns my oesophagus a little at first as it travels down but the strong taste and warmth it prices shortly after is totally worth it.
"I didn't mean it that way, Yrene."
"I know, Care Bear!" I coo.
"You're a different breed, woman."
"You still love me."
"Of course, you're my baby sister, I have no other option but to love you." I take a swig from the Maker's Mark bottle in my hand again.
"Wait... Are you drinking?"
"Yeah, why?" I question with a voice still hoarse from the liquor burning a passage through my larynx.
"What the hell, Yrene? Why are you drinking? Don't you remember what happened the last time you did such a thing! For god's sake drop the bottle."
"Why the hell are you screaming at me. Chill out. I'm not doing anything, but I needed this drink."
"Like hell you did! I'll call Ross and let him know."
"Shut up and he knows I have the bottles in my room; he trusts me and you should too."
"Fine. I trust you but don't drink more than a quarter, it's unhealthy Nene."
I picture him pinching the bridge of his nose, like he does whenever I annoy him as I roll my eyes, putting the bottle on the table and leaning back against the stoned railing.
"Coming tomorrow?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm in. I need to tell you something anyways."
"Tell me something? Why later? Tell me now." He demands and I let out an exasperated sigh,
"No, Bear, we will speak tomorrow after I come back from school, like after clearing my locker."
"Fine, but you better not bail on me."
"I won't. Oh and by the way after we're done you will drop me off to Katie's, I need to meet up with the rest of my friends," he tries to protest but I cut him short, "nu-huh, you will drop me off, I'm not listening to any excuses."
"Fine." He grumbles into the line.
"Great then, goodnight." I say in a sickly sweet tone.
"Night."
"Love you."
"Shut up."
"Say it!"
"Fine. Love you sister. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Mwah." I say into the phone before ending the call and calling Raymond to my room as soon as I finish the cigarette.

"Hey, you called for me?"
"Yeah..." I say sheepishly, pushing some of my hair away from my face; hair that is still in a bun, the same style it has been in ever since Jason's death.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes, why'd you ask?"
"Well, you left dinner quite abruptly, and I'm your brother, so I can judge which smile of yours is forced and which is natural. The one after dinner was definitely forced." I raise my eyebrows at him questioningly,
"So you're telling me that you felt something was wrong and yet you didn't follow me, to ensure that I wasn't slitting my wrists or hanging from the ceiling?"
He looks away for a second then nods mutely,
"Impressed. Very much impressed, brother."
"I trust you and some people might not believe that it was an actual mistake but I do."
He says confidently and I look at him, again, eyebrows shot up and and mouth set in a quizzical expression.
"And how can you say that with such an amount of confidence?"
"Because you came back."
Now I'm too stunned by his words to form anymore of my own and so I, too, nod at him but he takes none of it, engulfing me in a bone crushing hug. When he finally lets go after an eternity of putting all the love we felt for each other into one hug I tell him what I'm really here for,
"I can't sleep Ray." I whisper and look at my feet and he understands what I mean.

"No... You did it!" I say in between a fit of giggles.
"Stop lying, Nene, you did it!"
"Did not!"
"You're such a liar liar pants on fire!" Raymond says, his cheeks flushed a light shade of red from trying to prove me wrong and trying to swallow his Oreo at the same time, which obviously ends up in him choking on it and me practically dying of laughter. As soon as I'm done with swallowing my own biscuit, jumping down from my barstool, I make my way to Ray, patting his back softly as if that would help. I quickly get him a glass of water and he soon calms down but when he does calm down, we are joined by a confused looking Ross in the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?" Ray asks him, trying to hide the Oreos from the Cookie Monster.
"I could ask you the same thing, scumbag!" He rumbles groggily, in between two yawns.
"Well, Nene, couldn't sleep, so we decided to follow our custom of the nightmare nights," Raymond replies in an over exaggerated, dramatic tone.
"Shut the fuck up blazer boy and give me an Oreo." Ross demands, hands outstretched and when Raymond tries to push the packet further behind his back, Ross lunges at him, snatching it away and we both scowl at him in unison as he gorges down the biscuits.
"So, what were you arguing about?"
"Well, Ray here thinks that I put the cockroaches in Nanny Admas' pants and I have been telling him all along that it was him who did it." I tell him with a straight face, although I want to laugh really hard. Ross scrunches his face up in remembrance before his mouth falls open and he points at me accusingly.
"It was you. You convinced me to do it!"
Now, Ray, who had always been blamed for the hassle initially, has his mouth hanging from its hinges, pointing at Ross.
"It was you?" He questions with a priceless look of astonishment on his perfect, golden boy, face.
"Maybe..." Ross says, looking everywhere, but at our older brother, barely containing his laughter like myself.
"You," his face contorts with fury, making Ross and I erupt like a volcano with hearty laughter as soon as he says the next bit, "knuckle sucking, doofus like, lying, deceptive  twat!"
I laugh until my stomach hurts badly, laying on my side on the floor; before I can even realise that maybe it is really the first time that I have let myself laugh since Jason died. And as soon as I realise this the upcoming sound, dies deep within my throat before even making it past my lips. I sigh and get up, after the laughter dies out completely, brushing my pants off, I look at my two favourite men before hugging them,
"Night, boys." I yawn to emphasise my point as well as to indicate to Raymond that our 'tradition' has done me good.
"We are grown men." Ross says, fake chauvinism, dripping from his sarcastic tone.
"Not yet, you're not going anywhere; I'm coming with you. I'll put you to sleep myself," I try to protest but he cuts me off, "and no I will not consider any of your protests. I am not moving from your bedside before I can see that you're asleep."
"Ughhhh" I let out an exaggerated groan before telling him okay. As we make our way to my room, instead of turning to the door opposite to mine, Ross, too, follows us inside mine and when he look at him questioningly he replies with a feigned innocence,
"What?" He pouts, "you didn't think that I'd let you two have all the fun, did you?" Raymond and I shake our heads at the good before we all walk towards my huge bed and pull away the black covers and nestle between them; Ross and Raymond on either side of mine.
"Sing me a song, Ray-ray." I request with my best puppy dog eyes, that I know he will not be able to resist.
"Fine... Which one?"
"Any." I whisper drowsily before setting my head on his arm and gripping Ross's hand.
"But sweetie, the only ones I know..." He trails off and I know what he's thinking so I complete the thought for him.
"Are the Eminem ones I taught you?"
He looks away from my eyes for a second before answering in the positive.
"Well, then sing Eminem to me."
If they are shocked, they don't say so, for it is the first time that I have willingly, and of my own accord requested someone to sing Eminem for me since Jason's death, obviously not counting Ross's sudden mention of him earlier.

Ray begins to sing to me in his amateur but not unpleasant voice and I fall asleep. The comfort of knowing that over the course of these months, Raymond and I have become closer once again; perhaps he has let go of even the most minuet sense of blame in his heart that he would have felt when he decided to join our father's business in trade for my parents letting me follow and pave my own path. Before my lids fall I notice: Ross's hand squeezing mine gently, him kissing my forehead and Ray following suit before they whisper their 'I love you's' and fall asleep in my room.

Indeed a long day awaits me; a day that begs for revelations to be made to the other bunch of people I love most in this world. My friends and Bear. And Chase. Chase, even if not as lover, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful to have him and love him as a friend. I'd be a fool to not admit this fact. And a fool, I was not.