WHAT COMES AFTER THE END OF THIS

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Yrene's PoV

Why was it that I most wanted to forget him, somehow thoughts of him would make their way into my mind again? Why was it that,even though he had hurt me, be it unknowingly, I still wore his shirt to bed? Or at least inhaled his scent once before sleeping? Why was it that I still got the same comfort from him that I did before he treated me the way he did? Up till now I had kept or at least tried to keep my feelings for Chase at bay, or rather had not looked deeper into them but now... Could it be... Was I in love with Chase? And if not then was I falling in love with him? No, it can't be, right? I mean how can anyone love someone who doesn't reciprocate their feelings, or tells them outright that what was between them was nothing but a fling? I thought I loved Nick but now I hated him for everything he had done and slowly I was figuring out that I never loved him at all, for when you love someone nothing they do can make you hate them. And I hated Nick for the shit he had done. While on the other hand there was Chase, whom I couldn't bring myself to hate, no matter what he did. True his words had hurt me, badly, but I couldn't make my heart not pine for him, to hate him and never once had I wished to not see him at school or otherwise. For when you love someone, you even drink the draught of death from their hands. As I would from Chase's. But I still did not want to accept that I was in love with him. I wanted to unlove him so that he couldn't hurt me. So that his every action didn't effect me so. To get away from my thoughts I throw on my gym wear and lock myself in the unoccupied dance studio and lose myself in the music till I can't hear myself think. Till I lose myself in the choreography and beat and till I can't feel my legs beneath be anymore. I can feel the sweat soaking my back but I don't care as I'm one with the music. I almost pass out on the floor when strong arms circle around my waist preventing the downfall. A bottle of water is immediately pressed to my lips and when I open my eyes I see a very worried looking Jason. The water puts some strength into me and I give him a genuine smile. Suddenly he switches his expression from worried to something else,
"Woah. Easy there tiger. You could've died if I wasn't here."
"Shut up Jay. You aren't that lucky."
He flicks my nose and kisses my forehead. A gesture I'm left extremely shook by. He proceeds to sling his arm around my shoulder and walks me out of the studio and I snap out of my daze,
"Hey, why are you here yet? I mean you're supposed to pick me at the end of the day not now!"
"Sweetheart it's three thirty. School was out half an hour ago. Which by the way was since I was watching you from the doorway. Apparently you've been there for a very long time."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean, pretty girl, is that your friends saw you in here before your maths lesson and thought it better to leave you than disturb you to take you to class, considering you know the problems inside out already." He winks at me at the end which results in me swatting his arm. Wow. That means I was in the studio for more than two hours, dancing non stop. Luckily, Jason doesn't question why I was about to faint mostly because I don't want to really tell him that it was because I hadn't eaten all through yesterday and today properly. It was enough that Chase was worrying about me already. Chase. I scold myself to think about the boy in front of and focus on him rather than the one in my head. And heart. My subconscious reminds and I mentally slap her for this.
"Jay, wait I need to shower."
"What for?"
"I'm sweaty, you retard!"
"Geez woman! Calm the fuck down."
I tell him to wait outside the ladies locker room as I go in for a quick shower and a change of clothes. And I bless my luck as I notice the cheerleading squad in there too.
"Hey, Yrene."
"Becky." I roll my eyes at the bitch standing in front of me who is now getting all riled up because of what I called her. I know just how much Rebecca hates that name.
"Slut, don't call me that again. I mean after all you have proven me right about you being a whore though, like aren't you here with Jason Dawfield right now."
"I don't see how me being here with anyone involves you but I'll let you know that what I do and who I fuck is none of your business."
"Well Nick was my business."
"Is that why you cheated on him? And that too with half of the male population here at Stonecastle? And for your information I never so much as kissed Nick. So you can take your bullshit comments and your skinny ass out of my face now." I smile politely at the end as she groans, stomps her foot and makes to leave, calling me a fat cow. I shake my head at her typical insult and quickly dry my hair.

"Thank god you're here. I thought you died in there or something."
"Shut up loser." We're about to sit on his motorcycle when he notices the bracelet on my wrist, he smiles as he kisses the back of my hand. What is up with this boys behaviour today? A little shaken up I climb behind him on the motorcycle and hug him from behind. Against the howling wind I scream in his ear, questioning him about our location considering Joss said he had something planned. His answer is his usual 'you'll see in just a bit.' To which I respond by rolling my eyes and hitting him. We reach an abandoned alleyway, a place I wouldn't have dared to visit alone especially in UK's grey weather but here I am with this boy, who comes up with the most outrageous ideas everyday. I get off from behind him and he magically lifts the seat of his motorcycle revealing a boot. Inside the boot are numerous cans of spray paint, even now I have no idea what's going on but when once I look around the alley I catch up with his train of thought. This boy is going to ,ale me spray paint the already mostly spray painted walls of the alley. I shake my head indicating that I'm not going to do it but he laughs at me and pulls me into a side hug,
"Come on! We won't even get caught! Pleaseeee! For me?" He's practically begging me as I'm nervously laughing and shaking my head at him and while continuously whispering, 'no, no, no'. He kisses my the top of my head and I give in,
"Fine. Okay but not more than two words."
"Deal." He nods his head and I take up the cans of red and yellow spray paint. We both take two separate corners and begin our work, I decide to write a simple word 'Nyctophilia' while when I asked Jason about what he was going to write he told me that when he was done I could see for myself. When I was outlining my red bubble writing with yellow spray paint I notice that Jason has completed his piece and beckons me to look at it. I go up to his side and am shocked by what I see, in beautiful big lettering, there on the red brick wall, in colours black, white, and purple is my name. I don't even want to delve deeper into the meaning behind Jason having written it as I'm amazed by his ample skill.
"Like it?"
"Jay....God this is fucking amazing."
"So you do like it?"
I punch his arm playfully,
"Of course I do you douche."
I stand there looking at it for a while longer, admiring the masterpiece when I notice Jason scooting closer to me and just like before, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I don't even notice the prick of tears in my eyes as no one has ever done something remotely as amazing as unlawfully tagging an entire wall with my name except Jason. Sure Chase has given me that extremely beautiful necklace and I'm also sure he put a lot of thought into it but I guess the value of jewels and gifts has been reduced in my eyes because I have been getting at least three jewellery pieces per birthday. But this... No one has ever done this. Something this huge.
"Hey, hey sweetness look at me."
He turns me around in his embrace as he wipes the tears from my cheeks.
"What's wrong? I thought you liked it."
"I love it Jay. It's just that this is huge and no one has ever done this for me."
"Baby you deserve the world to be tagged with your name, not just an unknown wall."
I whack his shoulder as he yet again attempts to flirt with me,
"What? I actually mean it!" I swear his arm again but as soon as I do I hear sirens blaming. Shit. We would get caught. Both of us hurry onto the motorcycle as a police officer chases after us. Speeding until I feel like I'm going to fly off the vehicle we finally outrun the officer and for the first time I feel alive as the adrenaline pumps through me and fills every nook and cranny of my body. I let go of Jason completely as I raise both my hands above my head and hoot earning a hearty laugh from Jason.
In about thirty minutes we reach my front door and Jason gets off his bike to walk me to the door. Wow! The dumbass can actually act like a gentleman. At the door as I awkwardly stand before him he brings his face downwards, eye level with mine and kisses my cheek lightly, leaving a burning sensation behind,
"Goodnight beautiful." He softly whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine and all I can do is nod my head at him. As I go inside I can't help but feel that something has changed, as if Jason Dawfield has changed. I'm broken out of my thoughts when I see my mother in the drawing room with her event planners, planning my engagement. I roll my eyes at the woman and move to my room without so much as a hello. I am left alone with my thoughts once more and I decide to arrange the pieces that have come my way, just like Virginia Woolf suggested all those years ago.