CRASH ➳ jhs ✓

seven.

remember when mom would force us to play sports when we were younger? she wanted us both to do soccer, but you ended up doing volleyball instead. it didn't last for long since you quit the team about a year ago. i made the varsity soccer team in sophomore year, which meant i was the only sophomore on the team. 

mom and dad have been very persistent about college because i only had this year left and i have yet to hear back from the colleges i applied to. my studies weren't as great, so my only leverages that could help me in college is soccer and music. if i could get some sort of scholarship, i'd be saved. if i didn't, then i was practically screwed. 

"hey honey, how was school today?" 

"fine, same as always," you responded back to mom, chopping carrots as you spoke. 

i pulled out a glass from the cupboard, reaching into the fridge to get a drink. i stayed quiet, listening to conversation you had with mom.

she looked over her shoulder at you, "nothing interesting?"

"well, there is this one thing."

"what is it?" mom asked, adding various spices into the large pot before her. i didn't know what it was, but it smelled delicious. 

"you know how i gave my art profolio to my art teacher? well he took it and gave it to some colleges and-"

"hoseok! there's a letter for you!" dad called out from the living room, interrupting you. 

"just leave it there, i'll look at it later." 

dad ran into the kitchen, panting as he spoke, "it's a letter from NYU!"

NYU was one of the three schools i applied to. if i'm being completely honest, they were the last school i'd think of accepting me - let alone give me a scholarship. i made no hesitation in bolting towards dad, ripping the letter out of his hand before tearing it open. i skimmed through, widening my eyes at the words before me. 

"i got in..." i trailed off, breathless as i spoke, "holy shit! i got in! i got the scholarship!"

it was as if my words started an instant chain reaction of cheers. mom ran from the stove towards me, squeezing me into a hug. i heard dad chuckle, ruffling my hair with his hand. i was too excited to notice your dejected looking expression, watching the sight in front of you. 

"i have good news too," you spoke up, causing mom to look towards you. 

"it can wait for later, can't it? i want to make your brother some of his favorite japchae to celebrate!"

i watched as you stared at her, sighing in your seat as you mumbled, "yeah, yeah sure."

mom and dad both turned to me, gushing about how happy they were for me. we were so lost in ourselves that we didn't notice you standing up, dumping the freshly chopped carrots into the pot before walking out of the kitchen, mumbling the words congratulations under your breath.

they never actually got to hear what your good news was, and they never will get to. they won't ever get to know that you submitted your art profolio to your art teacher. they won't ever get to know that he sent it to Berkeley, who offered you a full time art scholarship. they won't ever get to know how happy you would've been pursuing your dream. they won't ever get to know how successful you could've been.

if only you stayed around for a little longer, then maybe, you could've been sitting in an art class at Berkeley right now, having the time of you life.